My right knee is hurting a bit, but it beats the HECK out of the left kidney pain I had experienced earlier today and the pain in the butt I've spent time with today (no, not Mandy).
I did 173 squats today. 65 were consecutive. My knee hurts. Knee usually gives out before the muscles get too wobbly. Still don't think I'm up for "Spinning" class any time soon.
We've had the weirdest weather here. It's generally cold in NW Ohio in late fall and early winter, with some dustings of snow, but this year we had a white Christmas. Now, on NYE, it was 55ºF and thunderstorming. I've never seen a rainbow on New Years Eve before and today Kiddo spotted one out the window that I would've been too busy grumbling to notice without her. I love that kid.
Rainbows are good omens for me. I saw one June 21, 1987. That was the day that my (now) husband was pronounced clear of cancer after his battle and near-death from Non-Hodkins Lymphoma. I don't know what great news this rainbow will usher in but I'm hoping it's the sale of two houses, and a future of more good health and happy times for my family and friends.
Happy New Year!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ITTyIjYJvs
31 December 2010
I didn't BLOW IT and Wrapping Up the HOT 100
Over 100 days ago I joined two challenges.
On Septmeber 15, Erika at "Fat Like Me" posted this gem. The gist of the challenge was to avoid undoing any of the hard work we'd accomplished this year by gaining the usual 5 to 15 holiday pounds. By losing 11.6 lbs, I have risen to the challenge! I believe that without the encouragement of bloggy friends like Erika and all of you, it would've been a struggle this year. Intuitive eating flew out the window some of the last few days, just as calorie counting would've. So many times I thought "screw this, I'm eating for fun today" but because of the challenges and my aversion to total public humiliation, I maintained the downward weight trend, even though the line on the chart leveled off a great deal towards the end.
Here are my Hot 100 Goals Set for the last 100 days of the year which happened to have coincided with the beginning of autumn.
Health: Go to bed by 10 pm nightly
About 95% of the time, I was successful with this goal. Even when I did my sleep study, I was tucked in an hour ahead of schedule because I am now so accustomed to it. Hopefully once treatment is in place, 10 pm will be the only time I go to bed - no more 9 am and 1 pm naps.
Nutrition: Eat more fruit!
Our good friend Patrick at Responsibility 199 was key in setting and achieving this goal. Although I rarely eat the 5 servings that I know make me feel the best, I am definitely improving and eating fruit on a daily basis. When we went to my mother's for Xmas, I was astounded by the lack of fruits and vegetables offered for the holiday meal and then I realized - they were never a part of my life growing up, either. Occasionally we'd have canned processed fruit and veggies but not as a general rule. Hmmm. back then I was on an all-carb high fat diet and I was thin as a rail, and yet I was active all the time. Something to think about, although clearly not a good ongoing plan! Thanks Patrick for getting me started on that!
Activity: Achieve BMI at or below 35
This is a goal that I should've never published. Putting deadlines and numbers together is almost certain to gaurantee failure when it comes to me. That must be some psychological impairment that I have that motivates me to rebel against numbers. Maybe I should learn more about "Avoidant Personality Disorder." Or, maybe it's better not to know. I think I'll avoid it for now. At any rate, my current BMI is
36.33. Obviously it doesnt agree with the BMI app on my phone, which I liked a lot better because it told me what I wanted to hear. Still, I'm sticking with the Wii Fit's calculations.
Accountability: Blog at least 2x daily
For me, this ended up not being a very realistic goal. I ended up having to choose between reading lots of blogs or posting my own. I have a ton of unfinished blog posts sitting in my dashboard now for upcoming posts because I'd start the 2nd daily post and then remember that I hadn't read a few of my favorites. Plus, the goal had a number tied to it. Always a bad idea when I'm me.
Pay it Forward: Encourage hubby to join the journey
I'm going to count myself as successful on this one despite the fact that he isn't on board. I can do that, because I did encourage him. Of course, I can't control his actions so I can't make him do what I think is best for him. I'll keep encouraging and one of these days I'll even let him know that I finally weigh less than him. However, I need that spread to be a little wider before I share that paticular secret. I'm very competitive like that.
Thanks everybody for your continued support, advice, and comraderie. I have lost a total of 57 pounds last year through practicing mindfulness. With that came a lot of learning about controlling my ongoing anxiety issues as well. I find myself entering 2011 not only 57 lbs lighter, but also taking being less fearful of doctors and people in general. I'm becoming the best me I can be, which is a continous process. Several months ago when I started reading my BIL's blog, it didn't occur to me that there were so many other weight loss blogs out on the interwebs, let alone that I would end the year learning from so many and publishing one of my one with over a hundred thirty followers!
Nobody knows what the next 365 days will bring. There will be successes and challenges, to be sure. We're all in this together, cheering one another on towards the goal of weighing less, living healthy lives, and making better choices. I'm confident we'll hear a lot more success stories, NSV's, weigh-ins, setbacks, injuries, excuses, meal plans, ideas, recipes, foibles, and maybe even a runner jogging into the side of a parked van here and there.
Peace!
On Septmeber 15, Erika at "Fat Like Me" posted this gem. The gist of the challenge was to avoid undoing any of the hard work we'd accomplished this year by gaining the usual 5 to 15 holiday pounds. By losing 11.6 lbs, I have risen to the challenge! I believe that without the encouragement of bloggy friends like Erika and all of you, it would've been a struggle this year. Intuitive eating flew out the window some of the last few days, just as calorie counting would've. So many times I thought "screw this, I'm eating for fun today" but because of the challenges and my aversion to total public humiliation, I maintained the downward weight trend, even though the line on the chart leveled off a great deal towards the end.
Here are my Hot 100 Goals Set for the last 100 days of the year which happened to have coincided with the beginning of autumn.
Health: Go to bed by 10 pm nightly
About 95% of the time, I was successful with this goal. Even when I did my sleep study, I was tucked in an hour ahead of schedule because I am now so accustomed to it. Hopefully once treatment is in place, 10 pm will be the only time I go to bed - no more 9 am and 1 pm naps.
Nutrition: Eat more fruit!
Our good friend Patrick at Responsibility 199 was key in setting and achieving this goal. Although I rarely eat the 5 servings that I know make me feel the best, I am definitely improving and eating fruit on a daily basis. When we went to my mother's for Xmas, I was astounded by the lack of fruits and vegetables offered for the holiday meal and then I realized - they were never a part of my life growing up, either. Occasionally we'd have canned processed fruit and veggies but not as a general rule. Hmmm. back then I was on an all-carb high fat diet and I was thin as a rail, and yet I was active all the time. Something to think about, although clearly not a good ongoing plan! Thanks Patrick for getting me started on that!
Activity: Achieve BMI at or below 35
This is a goal that I should've never published. Putting deadlines and numbers together is almost certain to gaurantee failure when it comes to me. That must be some psychological impairment that I have that motivates me to rebel against numbers. Maybe I should learn more about "Avoidant Personality Disorder." Or, maybe it's better not to know. I think I'll avoid it for now. At any rate, my current BMI is
36.33. Obviously it doesnt agree with the BMI app on my phone, which I liked a lot better because it told me what I wanted to hear. Still, I'm sticking with the Wii Fit's calculations.
Accountability: Blog at least 2x daily
For me, this ended up not being a very realistic goal. I ended up having to choose between reading lots of blogs or posting my own. I have a ton of unfinished blog posts sitting in my dashboard now for upcoming posts because I'd start the 2nd daily post and then remember that I hadn't read a few of my favorites. Plus, the goal had a number tied to it. Always a bad idea when I'm me.
Pay it Forward: Encourage hubby to join the journey
I'm going to count myself as successful on this one despite the fact that he isn't on board. I can do that, because I did encourage him. Of course, I can't control his actions so I can't make him do what I think is best for him. I'll keep encouraging and one of these days I'll even let him know that I finally weigh less than him. However, I need that spread to be a little wider before I share that paticular secret. I'm very competitive like that.
Thanks everybody for your continued support, advice, and comraderie. I have lost a total of 57 pounds last year through practicing mindfulness. With that came a lot of learning about controlling my ongoing anxiety issues as well. I find myself entering 2011 not only 57 lbs lighter, but also taking being less fearful of doctors and people in general. I'm becoming the best me I can be, which is a continous process. Several months ago when I started reading my BIL's blog, it didn't occur to me that there were so many other weight loss blogs out on the interwebs, let alone that I would end the year learning from so many and publishing one of my one with over a hundred thirty followers!
Nobody knows what the next 365 days will bring. There will be successes and challenges, to be sure. We're all in this together, cheering one another on towards the goal of weighing less, living healthy lives, and making better choices. I'm confident we'll hear a lot more success stories, NSV's, weigh-ins, setbacks, injuries, excuses, meal plans, ideas, recipes, foibles, and maybe even a runner jogging into the side of a parked van here and there.
Peace!
30 December 2010
Power of One photo and measurements
I look at this photo and I think, did I only IMAGINE that I lost almost 60 lbs this year? Holy Crap.
It does appear that my hips are smaller, probably from the squats. Seriously considering the situp challenge now that I've seen this.
Neck
16 inches
Right Arm
14 inches
Left arm
13 3/4 inches
Chest
47 3/4 inches
Waist
46 1/2 inches
Abdomen
49 1/4 inches
Hips
48 inches
Right Thigh
25 inches
Weight
232 lbs even
Neck
16 inches
Right Arm
14 inches
Left arm
13 3/4 inches
Chest
47 3/4 inches
Waist
46 1/2 inches
Abdomen
49 1/4 inches
Hips
48 inches
Right Thigh
25 inches
Weight
232 lbs even
29 December 2010
200 Squat Challenge: Day 2, Week 3/Power of One/Healthy Living Goals
I just did my squats and my grand total for the day is 173! Let's see if the one-armed Mandy(t) can beat that! Whoo, my back hurts and my legs are gelatinous. (There's a word you can't work into daily conversation without trying).
Trying to catch up on reading blogs and I see that one of the most cleverly named blogs, Cankles and Carrots is joining a challenge called The Power of One at The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans blog. Because I'm not afraid of failure, and because Steve's HOT 100 is cming to a close, I foolishly signed up. Please go over andsuffer along check it out with me. I have no idea what I've signed up for. Really. I'm not good at tracking on routines of any kind. I tend to rebel against them, even if - or especially when - they are self imposed.
The thing that sold me on this challenge was thecute and clever name of the blog fact that they outwardly reject the notion of new year's resolutions. Sold! However, the challenge for today is to list my new healthy living goals. So, what can I come up with for this?
Trying to catch up on reading blogs and I see that one of the most cleverly named blogs, Cankles and Carrots is joining a challenge called The Power of One at The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans blog. Because I'm not afraid of failure, and because Steve's HOT 100 is cming to a close, I foolishly signed up. Please go over and
The thing that sold me on this challenge was the
- Continue Blogging Daily
- Increase my compassion capacity
- Stretch my frustration tolerance (Thanks Anne!)
- Continue losing weight and making my doctor happy
- Participate in a 5K walk in the first half of the year
- Achieve a healthy BMI by the end of the year
Teller of untruths, Teller of untruths, may your trousers combust spontaneously!
Lies and the big fat liars that tell them. What should we do about them? Particularly here in blogland? And what should we do when people give ultimatums akin to a second grader saying "I won't be your friend if you play with Suzie!"
Seriously, I've been disappointed by bloggy friends who follow those who trash me, my lifestyle, my physician-endorsed health plan, and my friends. But know what? That's their choice.
I can totally understand wanting to hide from bullies, changing your blog and your blogger ID to protect yourself, and I can even understand the struggle between wanting to protect oneself that way and wanting to stand up for oneself as well. I'm a pretty understanding person. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. I see the good in most people, even when it is overpowered by negative.
I understand that narcissistic personality disorder can be really difficult to live with and it takes all my compassion to meditate for loving kindness towards people who experience it. What I can't understand is why somebody tells lies to garner sympathy for themselves and play the victim. Why not let it go and focus on your own success and happiness instead of trying to discredit others and play the GW Bush "if you're not with me, you're against me" card. Really? Who does that serve? How do you grow as a person if you surround yourself with "yes men" and people who fawn over your adoringly never questioning anything you say or do?
Personally, I value friendships that challenge me and encourage me to think outside my own narrow experience. I thrive on them actually.
But I'm curious about your opinions, my bloggy friends, how do YOU think this kind of stuff should be handled? And, do you handle it the way you would advise your children to handle it on the playground?
~~~We now return to our previous program, already in progress~~~
Edited to add: For the record, I never denied welcoming Darla back to blogland. I don't know where that accusation came from at all. It's just another way of his misrepresenting the truth.
THIS POST HAS BEEN CLOSED FOR COMMENTS DUE TO PENDING LEGAL ACTION
Seriously, I've been disappointed by bloggy friends who follow those who trash me, my lifestyle, my physician-endorsed health plan, and my friends. But know what? That's their choice.
I can totally understand wanting to hide from bullies, changing your blog and your blogger ID to protect yourself, and I can even understand the struggle between wanting to protect oneself that way and wanting to stand up for oneself as well. I'm a pretty understanding person. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. I see the good in most people, even when it is overpowered by negative.
I understand that narcissistic personality disorder can be really difficult to live with and it takes all my compassion to meditate for loving kindness towards people who experience it. What I can't understand is why somebody tells lies to garner sympathy for themselves and play the victim. Why not let it go and focus on your own success and happiness instead of trying to discredit others and play the GW Bush "if you're not with me, you're against me" card. Really? Who does that serve? How do you grow as a person if you surround yourself with "yes men" and people who fawn over your adoringly never questioning anything you say or do?
Personally, I value friendships that challenge me and encourage me to think outside my own narrow experience. I thrive on them actually.
But I'm curious about your opinions, my bloggy friends, how do YOU think this kind of stuff should be handled? And, do you handle it the way you would advise your children to handle it on the playground?
~~~We now return to our previous program, already in progress~~~
Edited to add: For the record, I never denied welcoming Darla back to blogland. I don't know where that accusation came from at all. It's just another way of his misrepresenting the truth.
THIS POST HAS BEEN CLOSED FOR COMMENTS DUE TO PENDING LEGAL ACTION
28 December 2010
that was a big day
Sleep study showed apnea. Duh. that's all they told me about it, except for that I have to go back a week from Friday and get another one with the CPAP machine to calibrate it. The worst part was the hookup. The glue in the hair stinks and it's all itchy. Difficult to get out of my hair. But, if it helps me live I suppose it's worth it. I hated HATED having hands all over me hooking me all up. Sleeping wasn't exactly cozy but they did bring me an extra blanket cuz I was FREEEEEZING. It took me longer than usual to fall asleep, but I expected that. So I go back Jan 14. Yi -pee.
Before Kiddo, when I worked at a j-o-b in the banking industry. Our best "couples" friend from that time has since moved to PA as minister, but we both agree that it was the best job EVAH when were in credit card. At any rate, we got together today for the first time in about 9 1/2 years. They had met Kiddo when she was less than a week old. So we went to IHOP today and got along as well as ever. Unfort, his kid that is only a few months older than ours, suddenly puked on the table as we were waiting for our orders. Her mom ran her "home" to grandparents and came back. The baby sister (toddler) ended up getting her big chocolate chip happy face pancake while mom was gone. We had great fun watching her dig in with both fists. Mom wasn't TOO mad when she returned and it helped the other kids forget about the barf incident.
After that I napped. Dang, I was tired!
I had purchased tickets to the Globetrotters for Sweetie's bday and today was the game. His first time. I was a bit disappointed compared to the other 2 games we had been to at a nearby university but this one was in a hockey stadium and didn't have as good seating. Sweetie was entertained and had a bday gift that wasn't clutter, so he was happy. Afterwards we went to get Kiddo's jersey signed. It is a #41 "Dunbar" jersey I bought for $5 at a garage sale last year. As the players were signing it, they all said "Awesome! Sweet Lou! Look! Sweet Lou!" and things like that. So naturally I had to look him up on the net when we got home.
Here is a photo and some information about why is one of the most legendary players, and now personnel coach for the Globetrotters. He was even a character in the 1979 animated series. Anybody remember that? He was the one that pulled things out of his superhero afro. I remember that. Too bad he wasn't on hand at today's game - he's pretty busy in Houston. As a rummage sale whore, and a celebrity stalker, I am completely pumped about this purchase. This is my 3rd game but I certainly didn't know enough to claim it was the reason why I bought this XL adult size jersey for my 9 year old kid. lol It looks great on her. We'll have to try to get Dunbar's sig on it along with the others!
Unfortunately, as we were leaving the stadium, she started puking.
Before Kiddo, when I worked at a j-o-b in the banking industry. Our best "couples" friend from that time has since moved to PA as minister, but we both agree that it was the best job EVAH when were in credit card. At any rate, we got together today for the first time in about 9 1/2 years. They had met Kiddo when she was less than a week old. So we went to IHOP today and got along as well as ever. Unfort, his kid that is only a few months older than ours, suddenly puked on the table as we were waiting for our orders. Her mom ran her "home" to grandparents and came back. The baby sister (toddler) ended up getting her big chocolate chip happy face pancake while mom was gone. We had great fun watching her dig in with both fists. Mom wasn't TOO mad when she returned and it helped the other kids forget about the barf incident.
After that I napped. Dang, I was tired!
I had purchased tickets to the Globetrotters for Sweetie's bday and today was the game. His first time. I was a bit disappointed compared to the other 2 games we had been to at a nearby university but this one was in a hockey stadium and didn't have as good seating. Sweetie was entertained and had a bday gift that wasn't clutter, so he was happy. Afterwards we went to get Kiddo's jersey signed. It is a #41 "Dunbar" jersey I bought for $5 at a garage sale last year. As the players were signing it, they all said "Awesome! Sweet Lou! Look! Sweet Lou!" and things like that. So naturally I had to look him up on the net when we got home.
Here is a photo and some information about why is one of the most legendary players, and now personnel coach for the Globetrotters. He was even a character in the 1979 animated series. Anybody remember that? He was the one that pulled things out of his superhero afro. I remember that. Too bad he wasn't on hand at today's game - he's pretty busy in Houston. As a rummage sale whore, and a celebrity stalker, I am completely pumped about this purchase. This is my 3rd game but I certainly didn't know enough to claim it was the reason why I bought this XL adult size jersey for my 9 year old kid. lol It looks great on her. We'll have to try to get Dunbar's sig on it along with the others!
Unfortunately, as we were leaving the stadium, she started puking.
27 December 2010
Tonight's the night
The dreaded sleep study.
I'm not happy about it, but I'm not freaking out as much as I was.
One of my church friends reassured me that it's "just like sleeping in a hotel, especially if you're used to going to some kind of freaky hotel where they hook you up to machines and watch you sleep."
I'm not happy about it, but I'm not freaking out as much as I was.
One of my church friends reassured me that it's "just like sleeping in a hotel, especially if you're used to going to some kind of freaky hotel where they hook you up to machines and watch you sleep."
26 December 2010
And it's OVAH!
Christmas has come and gone. Time to take down the Christmas stuff and put out the snowmen.
We had a nice visit with mom, sister, and sis' boyfriend yesterday. Kiddo got shloads more gifts and now we need to find a place for all her loot. Thank goodness hubby and I put an end to our own.
I felt sad for Sweetie yesterday as we didn't hear from his parents until very late and he didn't get to talk to his brother at all. We called at 9:30 on our way home but alas, it was too late to talk to the kids, too. They are normal kids who were up early with excitement about their loot whereas ours had to be dragged out of bed at 9 am. Today I woke her up at 10. She likes her sleep. She his happy with her holiday loot and visiting.
Tomorrow night is my sleepover at the sleep clinic. Enough of that. Let's not think about it. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.
Other than squats, I've been slackin on exercise lately. Food as well. So much yummy yummy that I push my intuition aside and enjoy. I have undone some of my hard work that way and yet I'm not feeling terribly guilty over it. yet. maybe a smidge. I will not panic over 2 or 3 pounds. Kiddo will be back in school on Jan 3rd and I'll be back to the gym. Until then, she will just have to play Wii with me daily and have fun fun fun doing it. Once I can scrape the remote out of her little sweaty hand.
We had a nice visit with mom, sister, and sis' boyfriend yesterday. Kiddo got shloads more gifts and now we need to find a place for all her loot. Thank goodness hubby and I put an end to our own.
I felt sad for Sweetie yesterday as we didn't hear from his parents until very late and he didn't get to talk to his brother at all. We called at 9:30 on our way home but alas, it was too late to talk to the kids, too. They are normal kids who were up early with excitement about their loot whereas ours had to be dragged out of bed at 9 am. Today I woke her up at 10. She likes her sleep. She his happy with her holiday loot and visiting.
Tomorrow night is my sleepover at the sleep clinic. Enough of that. Let's not think about it. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.
Other than squats, I've been slackin on exercise lately. Food as well. So much yummy yummy that I push my intuition aside and enjoy. I have undone some of my hard work that way and yet I'm not feeling terribly guilty over it. yet. maybe a smidge. I will not panic over 2 or 3 pounds. Kiddo will be back in school on Jan 3rd and I'll be back to the gym. Until then, she will just have to play Wii with me daily and have fun fun fun doing it. Once I can scrape the remote out of her little sweaty hand.
25 December 2010
Where can I return this gift?
I gained 2lbs over night. What? Oh well, I'll return it easy enough.
Happy Christmas everyone!
Happy Christmas everyone!
24 December 2010
Hot 100, updates, and 1 week to go
Week 2, day 3 of 200 squats and I completed 102 squats. Later I have to do the progress test to see how many I should do next week. I'm hoping I'll be able to move up a level. I think if I'd be more faithful with my fish oil supplements, my knees would allow more. I'm so glad I can (NSV) properly stretch my quads now, cuz they're gonna need it.
Hot 100 goals - what the heck were they?
Health: Go to bed by 10 pm nightly 50% success this
week but I was up past midnight last night w/o even realizing it.
Nutrition: Eat more fruit! I'd say probably about 50% success on this as well. I started out the week pretty good, but then I was sick sick sick and didn't eat much. I did have a banana for brekkie today though!
Activity: Achieve BMI at or below 35. It is currently at 35.4 according to the BMI calculator on my phone so I'm getting close! I have one more week to make it, but having lost 11 lbs so far on this challenge is good enough for me to say "I haven't blown it."
Accountability: Blog at least 2x daily
Major fail. I think I skipped 2 days this week altogether and only ended up blogging twice one day - yesterday. I'm ok with it. It can't be "all about me" this time of year and when I'm deeply depressed I don't feel like talking to anybody, even the blogosphere.
Pay it Forward: Encourage hubby to join the journey
He's hooked on video game currently (Sid Meier Civilization) so he's not too much into health and nutrition. That's ok. He's happy and I'm good with that. At least he's not sitting around stuffing his face with junk.
Hot 100 goals - what the heck were they?
Health: Go to bed by 10 pm nightly 50% success this
week but I was up past midnight last night w/o even realizing it.
Nutrition: Eat more fruit! I'd say probably about 50% success on this as well. I started out the week pretty good, but then I was sick sick sick and didn't eat much. I did have a banana for brekkie today though!
Activity: Achieve BMI at or below 35. It is currently at 35.4 according to the BMI calculator on my phone so I'm getting close! I have one more week to make it, but having lost 11 lbs so far on this challenge is good enough for me to say "I haven't blown it."
Accountability: Blog at least 2x daily
Major fail. I think I skipped 2 days this week altogether and only ended up blogging twice one day - yesterday. I'm ok with it. It can't be "all about me" this time of year and when I'm deeply depressed I don't feel like talking to anybody, even the blogosphere.
Pay it Forward: Encourage hubby to join the journey
He's hooked on video game currently (Sid Meier Civilization) so he's not too much into health and nutrition. That's ok. He's happy and I'm good with that. At least he's not sitting around stuffing his face with junk.
23 December 2010
Random Quacks.
I walked 2 miles on WIO today and probably could've done more if I had brought my hydration along. As it was, I had to go get my huge glass of water and then was distracted.
Much enjoyment has been gotten from watching the ducks on our pond this week. The pond is frozen solid except for a circle in the middle about 10 feet in diameter because of the bubbler we keep running year-round. This makes a nice water feature that attracts more wildlife, including up to 23 ducks (so far) at one time. The enjoyable part is when they attempt to fight on the ice. We put some cracked corn out for them today and 6 were trying to make their way to shore. One bumped into another and a squabble ensued. They were sliding around everywhere . .. looking like feathered weebles. I need to charge my video camera. Laughter is the best medicine, we should all be doing well and thanking our resident quacks.
Sweetie. I like him. We had fun playing with the kid today, lots of laughs. I'm anxious for Christmas even though she is the only one who receives gifts. She no longer believes in Santa, but she is one of the more appreciative people I know - always happy to be thought of.
Tomorrow is the Hot 100 Weigh-in, second to the last in fact. I've skipped some because of depression and other things. I think I'm back on track now and will check in for it tomorrow. I made the msitake of going for a bday breakfast at a place that has a photo of some now out-of-state family mid-month and I became very sad and "wallowy" after seeing the kids' photos, knowing they are growing up without me, it breaks my heart. I love those kids (and their parents of course) to pieces. I miss them more than what is probably normal or healthy - not that I would know a normal or healthy emotion if it snuck up on me and kicked me in the buttoxen - anyway, I think I am a little better now and can move on with life with less wallowing. At least until the ducks leave. :D
Much enjoyment has been gotten from watching the ducks on our pond this week. The pond is frozen solid except for a circle in the middle about 10 feet in diameter because of the bubbler we keep running year-round. This makes a nice water feature that attracts more wildlife, including up to 23 ducks (so far) at one time. The enjoyable part is when they attempt to fight on the ice. We put some cracked corn out for them today and 6 were trying to make their way to shore. One bumped into another and a squabble ensued. They were sliding around everywhere . .. looking like feathered weebles. I need to charge my video camera. Laughter is the best medicine, we should all be doing well and thanking our resident quacks.
Sweetie. I like him. We had fun playing with the kid today, lots of laughs. I'm anxious for Christmas even though she is the only one who receives gifts. She no longer believes in Santa, but she is one of the more appreciative people I know - always happy to be thought of.
Tomorrow is the Hot 100 Weigh-in, second to the last in fact. I've skipped some because of depression and other things. I think I'm back on track now and will check in for it tomorrow. I made the msitake of going for a bday breakfast at a place that has a photo of some now out-of-state family mid-month and I became very sad and "wallowy" after seeing the kids' photos, knowing they are growing up without me, it breaks my heart. I love those kids (and their parents of course) to pieces. I miss them more than what is probably normal or healthy - not that I would know a normal or healthy emotion if it snuck up on me and kicked me in the buttoxen - anyway, I think I am a little better now and can move on with life with less wallowing. At least until the ducks leave. :D
Finally!
Last night I finally was able to "normally" digest something. The Mac N Cheese, of course. It would be something fatty and highly caloric. Ah well, I'm hoping this means the virus is on its way out of my body. My weight was the same this morning as it was yesterday which is somewhat of a relief since it hopefully signifies the end of this flu or whatever it is. Today I hope to be getting on and using Walk It Out for a while and see how I do. So far, eating is good, only about 150 calories and not hungry. Pushing lots of fluids and laying low for now.
Sweetie has a vaca day today and tomorrow which means he should be home from work soon and won't need to be back until Sunday.
A blessed Saturnalia, Merry Christmas, etc to all of you :)
Sweetie has a vaca day today and tomorrow which means he should be home from work soon and won't need to be back until Sunday.
A blessed Saturnalia, Merry Christmas, etc to all of you :)
22 December 2010
Week 2, Day 2 (200 Squats) and more
Today is Day 2 of Week 2 for the 200 squats program (see links tab for more information).
Usually I do my squats in the mid morning but with Kiddo home and my tummy still sick, the day has escaped me. I just fnished and I completed 79 squats for the day. Not bad considering how weak I feel.
I did go out to breakfast this morning and eat, but (TMI) I would be suprised if I absorbed anything from that meal. I've been snacking throughout the day and staying to tay hydrated and I've spent more time doing squats in the ladies' room than out, but I didn't count those in my 79.
Whatever the hell this virus is, I hope it "runs" its course soon. I'm tired of hearing and feeling my gut rumble.
Kiddo is using one of her "12 Days of Christmas" gifts today. It's the Fix It and Forget It Cookbook for kids. Home made mac n cheese anyone? Yeah, that's gonna sit well in my gut. She made the shopping list, I took her to Kroger and she put it all in the slow cooker. I hope for her sake it turns out well. My stomach is already complaining about it, but i'll eat some.
Usually I do my squats in the mid morning but with Kiddo home and my tummy still sick, the day has escaped me. I just fnished and I completed 79 squats for the day. Not bad considering how weak I feel.
I did go out to breakfast this morning and eat, but (TMI) I would be suprised if I absorbed anything from that meal. I've been snacking throughout the day and staying to tay hydrated and I've spent more time doing squats in the ladies' room than out, but I didn't count those in my 79.
Whatever the hell this virus is, I hope it "runs" its course soon. I'm tired of hearing and feeling my gut rumble.
Kiddo is using one of her "12 Days of Christmas" gifts today. It's the Fix It and Forget It Cookbook for kids. Home made mac n cheese anyone? Yeah, that's gonna sit well in my gut. She made the shopping list, I took her to Kroger and she put it all in the slow cooker. I hope for her sake it turns out well. My stomach is already complaining about it, but i'll eat some.
21 December 2010
Down and down
The holiday blues have gotten to me and I've been sick in more ways than one . . .
However . . . today I weighed in at a new low - 232.8 lbs - FINALLY lighter than hubby by a smidge.
Busy busy busy - so not much time to write now. I can't wait until January when things can get back to "normal"
However . . . today I weighed in at a new low - 232.8 lbs - FINALLY lighter than hubby by a smidge.
Busy busy busy - so not much time to write now. I can't wait until January when things can get back to "normal"
20 December 2010
16 December 2010
I'm so ready to hibernate
I'm really struggling right now with the urge to "retreat" from the world. I just love being at home and alone for a while in the winter, not driving around after dark that comes way too early, not facing the maniacal holiday crowds. Just me, Sweetie, the Kiddo and all the Christmas cookies we can eat. Yum . .. cookies.
Sore throat is sneaking in, and the fatigue is extra extra bad. I ended up deciding to be a lump today for most of the day. although I did go and pay my traffic ticket - this was a anxiety trauma of proportions that I am not yet ready to discuss. I also took kiddo to clarinet lessons. We had a good long snuggle tonight afterwards which is just what I needed. I was surprised she was still long enough.
So, tomorrow is day 3 of the first week of the 200 squat challenge. Part of me wants to put it on hold until my hemorrhoid problem clears up, in case that is what is aggravating it. However, I feel no symptoms of it when I'm performing said squats and I really do hate to be a quitter. Plus, Mandy would never let me hear the "end" of it. Oh, that reminds me - kiddo decided to showoff yesterday and do 100 squats after hearing us discuss the program. I warned her - quietly, true - to be careful and not overdo it. Yeah, she's hurting today. Thus, the snuggles.
I also got asked to come back to volunteering at the church office after the first of the year, and that is a good thing. I think if I'm required to be "out there" and doing for others, I am less likely to stay home and wallow. I need to be needed, I suppose.
Laying around today, I read David Sedaris' new book. For anybody with an incredibly sick sense of humor, I highly recommend it. It's called Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk and it's a series of twisted animal stories. If you're a normal person, you probably wouldn't like it. But then, you probably would like me anyway so why are you even reading this? Shah!
Sore throat is sneaking in, and the fatigue is extra extra bad. I ended up deciding to be a lump today for most of the day. although I did go and pay my traffic ticket - this was a anxiety trauma of proportions that I am not yet ready to discuss. I also took kiddo to clarinet lessons. We had a good long snuggle tonight afterwards which is just what I needed. I was surprised she was still long enough.
So, tomorrow is day 3 of the first week of the 200 squat challenge. Part of me wants to put it on hold until my hemorrhoid problem clears up, in case that is what is aggravating it. However, I feel no symptoms of it when I'm performing said squats and I really do hate to be a quitter. Plus, Mandy would never let me hear the "end" of it. Oh, that reminds me - kiddo decided to showoff yesterday and do 100 squats after hearing us discuss the program. I warned her - quietly, true - to be careful and not overdo it. Yeah, she's hurting today. Thus, the snuggles.
I also got asked to come back to volunteering at the church office after the first of the year, and that is a good thing. I think if I'm required to be "out there" and doing for others, I am less likely to stay home and wallow. I need to be needed, I suppose.
Laying around today, I read David Sedaris' new book. For anybody with an incredibly sick sense of humor, I highly recommend it. It's called Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk and it's a series of twisted animal stories. If you're a normal person, you probably wouldn't like it. But then, you probably would like me anyway so why are you even reading this? Shah!
dammit.
I got a traffic ticket last night for running a red light. I don't think it was yellow yet when I entered the intersection, but I'm just probably going to pay the $123.00 instead of dealing with the anxiety of contesting it. Really, I will spend over a hundred bucks, all my bday money and then some, to not have to speak in front of people. I wonder if shock therapy would help. Oh wait, I'm probably too big of a chicken to find that out.
I will not start thinking about my upcoming sleep study.
Working out at home today, probably Walk It Out and Just Dance 2 combo.
I've found that elminating my breakfast Pepsi has made an impact on my feeding schedule. I'm ready for food again about an hour after my initial morning snack. Whole grain bread with natural peanut butter seemed to satisfy it. But then I'm not hungry again until late afternoon. Then I end up eating something stupid because I don't plan ahead properly. Like Wendy's new fries. Damn, they're good. DO NOT TRY THEM!!!
So, I've got to maybe change up my breakfast and see if I can get back on schedule. okay, I know I'm totally loopy now because the word "schedule" doesn't look right now matter how I spell it.
I will not start thinking about my upcoming sleep study.
Working out at home today, probably Walk It Out and Just Dance 2 combo.
I've found that elminating my breakfast Pepsi has made an impact on my feeding schedule. I'm ready for food again about an hour after my initial morning snack. Whole grain bread with natural peanut butter seemed to satisfy it. But then I'm not hungry again until late afternoon. Then I end up eating something stupid because I don't plan ahead properly. Like Wendy's new fries. Damn, they're good. DO NOT TRY THEM!!!
So, I've got to maybe change up my breakfast and see if I can get back on schedule. okay, I know I'm totally loopy now because the word "schedule" doesn't look right now matter how I spell it.
15 December 2010
Enough already!
For the last month my weight has been dancing around the same old boring numbers on the scale. I've been exercising daily during the week but slacking off on weekends. I've been making poor food choices and not having my "head in the game" 100% of the time. Although I'm getting stronger and working on my health in a lot of other ways, I've got to get back on the road to a healthy BMI.
Focus, Lanie, FOCUS!
Focus, Lanie, FOCUS!
14 December 2010
Only THREE WEEKS??
When Biggest Loser started this last season, I promised myself that next season - next season, there would be nobody on the show starting off with a lower weight than me.
Now Allison drops the bomb that the next season is only THREE WEEKS AWAY?? WHAT?!?!?! I thought I had more time. I guess I"ve always thought I had more time.
Twice the number of contestants next time, and 2 new trainers.
There are some REALLY large people on next season. I hope there are none lighter than me, but I've got to kick it into gear in the next 3 weeks and set the bar even lower.
This is the first season I've ever watched the whole way through. Usually I lose interet when they get lighter than me. Who wants to watch other people succeed, after all? Apparently, this new me does. I'm enjoying the finale and I won't spoil it for those of you who haven't seen it yet.
Enjoy!
Now Allison drops the bomb that the next season is only THREE WEEKS AWAY?? WHAT?!?!?! I thought I had more time. I guess I"ve always thought I had more time.
Twice the number of contestants next time, and 2 new trainers.
There are some REALLY large people on next season. I hope there are none lighter than me, but I've got to kick it into gear in the next 3 weeks and set the bar even lower.
This is the first season I've ever watched the whole way through. Usually I lose interet when they get lighter than me. Who wants to watch other people succeed, after all? Apparently, this new me does. I'm enjoying the finale and I won't spoil it for those of you who haven't seen it yet.
Enjoy!
PITA!
I've got a pain in the asterisk that just won't go away. Or rather, it goes away and then it comes back again. It's not digestion related, but my butt is SORE! I had never had hemmorhoids before Kiddo was born 9 years ago, but have had occasional flare ups since then. Had one last week and thought "hmmm. . .could this be hormonal?" and it went away after a day or two. But now, it's back. Could it be somehow related to the evil eliptical? Please, GAWD, don't let it get like HFP's was. Drinking lots sof water, eating lots of fruit, using Cottonelle . . . Doing everything right and now this? It's really really a pain in the butt!
13 December 2010
Monday thief!
Mother nature did not cooperate and dumped a few inches of snow on our little burg overnight. Apparently it was more than the plows could handle and school was therefore cancelled. Bah humbug!
It was probably a good thing, though, to find out that Kiddo's snow boots will never again fit over her ginormous kid feet. Also either the cardinals & chickadees or my not-so-subtle husband left a little hint for me this morning - an empty birdfeeder at my spot on the breakfast table. So after boiling and bleaching the hell out of my table, Kiddo and I set out on our winter wonderland adventure. Reminder to self: clear room in the garage for the car before the next big snowfall. It took about an hour to get the car cleared enough to drive. Then ventured to the feed store and got in-shell peanuts, a squirrel block, and some bird food. I was tempted to get a deer block as well, but I'd have to trudge out to the side yard and open the gate to let them in the back yard where we feed them and I haven't seen any evidence of deer around yet this fall. I definitely don't want to tempt them to cross I-75 to get a little nibble.
Then we went shoe shopping for kiddo, stopped at KFC - I know, not healthy (the grilled stuff is horrid) and met Sweetie for lunch. Continued on to the other shoe store where we finally found some suitable snowkickers and then the dollar store and back home. Filled the feeders, got out some more xmas deco, and sat down.
Oh yeah, sitting down reminded me. I started my squats this morning. I did about 38 and unlike SOME wimps, I'm only slightly sore. Maybe I shoulda pushed myself a little harder.
It was probably a good thing, though, to find out that Kiddo's snow boots will never again fit over her ginormous kid feet. Also either the cardinals & chickadees or my not-so-subtle husband left a little hint for me this morning - an empty birdfeeder at my spot on the breakfast table. So after boiling and bleaching the hell out of my table, Kiddo and I set out on our winter wonderland adventure. Reminder to self: clear room in the garage for the car before the next big snowfall. It took about an hour to get the car cleared enough to drive. Then ventured to the feed store and got in-shell peanuts, a squirrel block, and some bird food. I was tempted to get a deer block as well, but I'd have to trudge out to the side yard and open the gate to let them in the back yard where we feed them and I haven't seen any evidence of deer around yet this fall. I definitely don't want to tempt them to cross I-75 to get a little nibble.
Then we went shoe shopping for kiddo, stopped at KFC - I know, not healthy (the grilled stuff is horrid) and met Sweetie for lunch. Continued on to the other shoe store where we finally found some suitable snowkickers and then the dollar store and back home. Filled the feeders, got out some more xmas deco, and sat down.
Oh yeah, sitting down reminded me. I started my squats this morning. I did about 38 and unlike SOME wimps, I'm only slightly sore. Maybe I shoulda pushed myself a little harder.
12 December 2010
I'm getting DiddlySquat for New Years.
I've been considering for a long time doing the 200 Squat Challenge. I see that The Merry over at Sheesh just finished the challenge. I'm considering starting it tomorrow. You begin slowly and work your way up to doing 200 squats at a time, over about 6 weeks.
Details and instructions are here.
Join me in strengthening our legs. I want to get rid of this knee pain and also complete a Spinning class without embarassing myself. Who's with me?
And if you need the perfect squat music to work out with, here it is!
Details and instructions are here.
Join me in strengthening our legs. I want to get rid of this knee pain and also complete a Spinning class without embarassing myself. Who's with me?
And if you need the perfect squat music to work out with, here it is!
It worked!
Thanks a bunch for sending the "Kindle" message telepathically to Sweetie. Course, it didn't get to him in time to actually PURCHASE one in time, but he gave me the go-ahead to shop for one. Plus some cash to play with. Yay!
The snow just keeps coming down here. Level 1 Snow Emergency. If it gets to level 3 I'll be sorry I didn't get out and go to church today. I have no idea how we'll get our driveway cleared. I should plan ahead for these things huh? That would be very much unlike me
I'm down again within a half pound of my all-time low. Shovelling snow will probably burn a lot of calories. PLUS I bet I won't feel like I'm having a heart attack after 5 minutes of it like last time. We could have up to 7 inches of snow by the time this is done tomorrow at 1 pm. Thank God for bodysculpt class for prepping my arms!
So do you all read the dude who gained 19 lbs this week? What do you say to a guy like that? I should probably just stop reading him. Always a "reason". I want so much for him to succeed. I want so much for Jillian Michaels to yell at him. I want so much to not see his obituary. :(
The snow just keeps coming down here. Level 1 Snow Emergency. If it gets to level 3 I'll be sorry I didn't get out and go to church today. I have no idea how we'll get our driveway cleared. I should plan ahead for these things huh? That would be very much unlike me
I'm down again within a half pound of my all-time low. Shovelling snow will probably burn a lot of calories. PLUS I bet I won't feel like I'm having a heart attack after 5 minutes of it like last time. We could have up to 7 inches of snow by the time this is done tomorrow at 1 pm. Thank God for bodysculpt class for prepping my arms!
So do you all read the dude who gained 19 lbs this week? What do you say to a guy like that? I should probably just stop reading him. Always a "reason". I want so much for him to succeed. I want so much for Jillian Michaels to yell at him. I want so much to not see his obituary. :(
11 December 2010
A look back at being 40
It really wasn't so bad. I have made great strides towards health, met new friends, learned a lot, and gotten a little more control over my anxiety. Today is my last day as a 40 year old and I'm ending it 50+ lbs lighter than it started, I have more stamina, strength of body, and peace of mind.
I have a slight caffiene hangover which will be quenched by Tylenol in no time.
Anxiety's getting me because Sweetie and Kiddo went to the mall and haven't returned yet. We are to leave here in 20 minutes and apparently he can't hear his cell phone in the crowded mall. Kiddo has never seen the chaos that is a pre-Christmas shopping mall on the weekend. Yes, I took my meds last night. I hope they will call or show up at home soon. It's really no big deal if we are late. I already texted sister to let her know. Anxiety sucks. Must reach for that peace of mind I was blabbering about a moment ago.
I have a slight caffiene hangover which will be quenched by Tylenol in no time.
Anxiety's getting me because Sweetie and Kiddo went to the mall and haven't returned yet. We are to leave here in 20 minutes and apparently he can't hear his cell phone in the crowded mall. Kiddo has never seen the chaos that is a pre-Christmas shopping mall on the weekend. Yes, I took my meds last night. I hope they will call or show up at home soon. It's really no big deal if we are late. I already texted sister to let her know. Anxiety sucks. Must reach for that peace of mind I was blabbering about a moment ago.
10 December 2010
I'm so random
I did 30 minutes on the eliptical today. My knees are complaining about it loudly now, but it felt very satisfying to accomplish that.
It looks like a lot of snow coming our way for Sunday which is my actual birthday. I'm looking forward to a day of hanging out by the fireplace.
My schedule was all wonky today and I ate pretty randomly too. Went out to breakfast with a friend and didn't bring my morning meds along. About 2 pm I felt the energy seep out of me and into the floor - caffeine withdrawal, so I had a diet Dr. Pepper which actually helped. A lot of times I will have a headache from artificial sweeteners, but not so much today.
Tomorrow we travel and hour to see some family and get ssome loot. More restaurant food and sitting in the car for a long while.
Saw a demo of he Vectron Wave toy today on the Ellen show and it is now my own most wanted toy, aside from the mega set of Magformers. Unfortunately, kiddo doesn't appear to be shopping at the toy store for my gift this year. Pffft.. i love toys (no, RNTG, not THOSE kinds of toys)
It looks like a lot of snow coming our way for Sunday which is my actual birthday. I'm looking forward to a day of hanging out by the fireplace.
My schedule was all wonky today and I ate pretty randomly too. Went out to breakfast with a friend and didn't bring my morning meds along. About 2 pm I felt the energy seep out of me and into the floor - caffeine withdrawal, so I had a diet Dr. Pepper which actually helped. A lot of times I will have a headache from artificial sweeteners, but not so much today.
Tomorrow we travel and hour to see some family and get ssome loot. More restaurant food and sitting in the car for a long while.
Saw a demo of he Vectron Wave toy today on the Ellen show and it is now my own most wanted toy, aside from the mega set of Magformers. Unfortunately, kiddo doesn't appear to be shopping at the toy store for my gift this year. Pffft.. i love toys (no, RNTG, not THOSE kinds of toys)
Dear Thursday
Where the HELL did you go?
I know you were probably there with me the whole time but I barely noticed you. I spent most of my morning in the midst of a doctor-induced panic attack and by the time we were done with Kids For Peace and Sweetie taking me out for an early birthday dinner at Red Lobster (mmmm. . .. biscuit), before I knew it you were gone.
I'm sorry I missed you, but I'll see you again next week. Friday is here and has not been kind to me so far. I'm thinking about ignoring it and pretending it never happened.
I know you were probably there with me the whole time but I barely noticed you. I spent most of my morning in the midst of a doctor-induced panic attack and by the time we were done with Kids For Peace and Sweetie taking me out for an early birthday dinner at Red Lobster (mmmm. . .. biscuit), before I knew it you were gone.
I'm sorry I missed you, but I'll see you again next week. Friday is here and has not been kind to me so far. I'm thinking about ignoring it and pretending it never happened.
08 December 2010
quickie
My laptop contracted a virus yesterday so I've been jonesin' for more than 24 hours.
No workout today and food choices not that great.
Back on track tomorrow.
I still haven't had any Pepsi since Sunday morning so I'm calling myself officially "over it".
No workout today and food choices not that great.
Back on track tomorrow.
I still haven't had any Pepsi since Sunday morning so I'm calling myself officially "over it".
07 December 2010
Oh yeah, Tuesday? Take THIS!
Breakfast was a 150 calorie Sweet & Salty bar and lots of water, multi vitamin and fish oil supplement. Yummy!
Gym today, met with friend and did the 15 minute warm up on treads. We're supposed to do 10 minutes, but we were talking . . . then I did upper body weights and then we finished up with SEVENTEEN minutes on the elipticals. Impressed? You should be! I should've pushed myself for 20. That can be my goal for tomorrow.
Then I met another coupla girlfriends at a Scholastic book warehouse sale and dropped $50 or so, and then undid all my hard work at the gym by eating chicken alfredo at Olive Garden. Enjoyed it immensely. Dinner will be extra-light to non-existent for me tonight. Lots and lots of water.
I still haven't had any Pepsi, Aunt Flo has arrived early for my birthday, and I'm doing ok with my friend Voltaren.
Tomorrow Kiddo has a delayed start in school and it's unclear whether or not I'm volunteering at school in the morning. I hope not because I really don't want to miss my workout. Who the hell said that?
After school we are doing a last ditch effort to find change laying around the house and taking it to the CoinStar machine. The money will go to our Kids for Peace group who is purchasing gifts for underpriveleged families of the world through Heifer International. Just our house has found $20 so far. I can't wait to see what the whole group comes up with! Then we'll get the last of our cookie ingredients and come home and possibly start baking cookies although I'm thinking of waiting until tomorrow, hoping my cramps subside a little by then.
Gym today, met with friend and did the 15 minute warm up on treads. We're supposed to do 10 minutes, but we were talking . . . then I did upper body weights and then we finished up with SEVENTEEN minutes on the elipticals. Impressed? You should be! I should've pushed myself for 20. That can be my goal for tomorrow.
Then I met another coupla girlfriends at a Scholastic book warehouse sale and dropped $50 or so, and then undid all my hard work at the gym by eating chicken alfredo at Olive Garden. Enjoyed it immensely. Dinner will be extra-light to non-existent for me tonight. Lots and lots of water.
I still haven't had any Pepsi, Aunt Flo has arrived early for my birthday, and I'm doing ok with my friend Voltaren.
Tomorrow Kiddo has a delayed start in school and it's unclear whether or not I'm volunteering at school in the morning. I hope not because I really don't want to miss my workout. Who the hell said that?
After school we are doing a last ditch effort to find change laying around the house and taking it to the CoinStar machine. The money will go to our Kids for Peace group who is purchasing gifts for underpriveleged families of the world through Heifer International. Just our house has found $20 so far. I can't wait to see what the whole group comes up with! Then we'll get the last of our cookie ingredients and come home and possibly start baking cookies although I'm thinking of waiting until tomorrow, hoping my cramps subside a little by then.
06 December 2010
I survived!
Another day at the gym - a workout mostly by myself with a friend showing up for my last 10 minutes of cardio/her warm up. Lifted more weight with my legs today . .. . tomorrow I'll do upper body but I still can't get through 3 sets of 12 reps on most of those machines yet, so no adding on there. I feel like a big wimp, but it'll get better (right?)
A whole day without Pepsi. Sweet, icecold, bubbly, goodness . . .how I miss you.
It's not the only addiction I quit today. Can anybody guess what else I quit? (no fair Mandy, I already told you).
I'm another day closer to my 80th birthday, another day further from my 40th.
6 servings of fruit and 200 oz of water have kept me busy today. Also finished a craft, did some shopping, caught up on laundry (except for putting away) and actually considered asking Sweetie to bring down the xmas tree.
Tomorrow - workout at the gym, then off to meet friends at a Scholastic warehouse sale, lunch, and then quick shopping for the last of cookie ingredients. We're going to end up making good old fashioned fattening cookies. I'll put them in my beautiful cookie jar and try to forget about them. I really love to bake. This will be fun. I just need to clean up the kitchen a bit first. Bigget Loser tomorrow night. Yay! Go Ada! Go Ada!
I'm feeling a bit more in control of things tonight, even my bladder. Sneezes are always iffy, but you gotta keep pounding down that water. Stopping the pop was a good call, gave me something else to feel good about, another accomplishment to work towards. So far so good. Thank you Voltaren!
A whole day without Pepsi. Sweet, icecold, bubbly, goodness . . .how I miss you.
It's not the only addiction I quit today. Can anybody guess what else I quit? (no fair Mandy, I already told you).
I'm another day closer to my 80th birthday, another day further from my 40th.
6 servings of fruit and 200 oz of water have kept me busy today. Also finished a craft, did some shopping, caught up on laundry (except for putting away) and actually considered asking Sweetie to bring down the xmas tree.
Tomorrow - workout at the gym, then off to meet friends at a Scholastic warehouse sale, lunch, and then quick shopping for the last of cookie ingredients. We're going to end up making good old fashioned fattening cookies. I'll put them in my beautiful cookie jar and try to forget about them. I really love to bake. This will be fun. I just need to clean up the kitchen a bit first. Bigget Loser tomorrow night. Yay! Go Ada! Go Ada!
I'm feeling a bit more in control of things tonight, even my bladder. Sneezes are always iffy, but you gotta keep pounding down that water. Stopping the pop was a good call, gave me something else to feel good about, another accomplishment to work towards. So far so good. Thank you Voltaren!
I quit
Well, I said I'd drop my Pepsi when I hit my first plateau. Officially, I'm still losing weight - although it is much slower than it had been. The Pepsi is just one of the high-calorie choices I've been making lately, but if I can eliminate it that's automatically 150 calories less a day. Not much, but every little bit helps. My One A Day Energy multivitamin claims to have as much caffeine as a cup of coffee. I don't know how that compares to soda, but I'm feeling that it's less. Already my head is a bit foggy if not quite achey and I'm only an hour overdo for my buzz. So . . . we'll see how it goes. I have Tylenol, and No-Doz, and exercise to keep me going. Speaking of which, I better get out and go to the gym before I fall back to sleep!
My true inspiration for this latest endeavor is my IRL friend Jodi. She's been struggling to quit smoking. Nicotine is said to me much more addictive than caffeine. I've done this before. I can do it again. Prepare for the whining.
My true inspiration for this latest endeavor is my IRL friend Jodi. She's been struggling to quit smoking. Nicotine is said to me much more addictive than caffeine. I've done this before. I can do it again. Prepare for the whining.
05 December 2010
bah humboog.
I've been fighting off depression that's trying to creep in ever since the Spinning mishap the other day. Way to put me in my place, universe! And now the sinuses are giving me troubles too.
But, I had fun at the gingerbread house making party. The houses were actually made out of grahm crackers but the kids had great fun. It was really nice and it was special to be invited because each of the 2 siblings only got to invite 4 friends each. So the girl who invited Kiddo is not even in her class at our new school, but she is in our Kids For Peace group and they get along so well together. Very charming girl, and her mom is nice too!
So it's Sunday - always my blah day anyway because of the atmosphere in the house when Sweetie has to go back to work. And my birthday is approaching which always depresses me - not for the reason you think. It's not that I care about getting a year older. Age is just a number and if you ask people who have met me, I certainly do not act my age. I get really depressed because I miss the times when my birthday was a special time to celebrate me. See, I told you I was immature. Part of being a grown-up and a parent, I suppose. I'll have to go and see my mom & sister - we'll meet at the half way point, an hour from here/an hour from them. Mandy will call and sing, probably. Most people won't care to notice. Maybe one or two friends . . .bah humbug. And then Christmas comes, which is a whole 'nother post about depression.
So hopefully now that I've put it "out there" for everyone to see how stupid it is, and for me to see how stupid it sounds, maybe that'll make me kick things into gear and get outside of my own thoughts. some nice http://www.dharmaseed.org/ may help me calm down in the morning, not anymore tonight. And hey - how bout I actually take my meds tonight? I bet Aunt Flo will be here by the end of the week too. She always likes to spend my birthday with me. So thoughtful. At least one relative care enough to visit.
Now if you could all send telepathic messages to my husband saying "Kindle" I would appreciate it. Thanks so much. I'll stop wallowing (for now).
But, I had fun at the gingerbread house making party. The houses were actually made out of grahm crackers but the kids had great fun. It was really nice and it was special to be invited because each of the 2 siblings only got to invite 4 friends each. So the girl who invited Kiddo is not even in her class at our new school, but she is in our Kids For Peace group and they get along so well together. Very charming girl, and her mom is nice too!
So it's Sunday - always my blah day anyway because of the atmosphere in the house when Sweetie has to go back to work. And my birthday is approaching which always depresses me - not for the reason you think. It's not that I care about getting a year older. Age is just a number and if you ask people who have met me, I certainly do not act my age. I get really depressed because I miss the times when my birthday was a special time to celebrate me. See, I told you I was immature. Part of being a grown-up and a parent, I suppose. I'll have to go and see my mom & sister - we'll meet at the half way point, an hour from here/an hour from them. Mandy will call and sing, probably. Most people won't care to notice. Maybe one or two friends . . .bah humbug. And then Christmas comes, which is a whole 'nother post about depression.
So hopefully now that I've put it "out there" for everyone to see how stupid it is, and for me to see how stupid it sounds, maybe that'll make me kick things into gear and get outside of my own thoughts. some nice http://www.dharmaseed.org/ may help me calm down in the morning, not anymore tonight. And hey - how bout I actually take my meds tonight? I bet Aunt Flo will be here by the end of the week too. She always likes to spend my birthday with me. So thoughtful. At least one relative care enough to visit.
Now if you could all send telepathic messages to my husband saying "Kindle" I would appreciate it. Thanks so much. I'll stop wallowing (for now).
headaches are punishment for low water intake!
I woke up this morning with a headache and the sinuses still ucky.
Yesterday was a fun day, but too busy. Food intake was good, but not purposeful exercise and not enough fruit & water. No wonder I feel like my skull is about to crack open.
Probably skipping church altogether today, though I was really curious to go learn about "the evolution of religion" this morning. If I had somebody to drive me I just might, but getting behind the wheel just isn't sounding appealing right now. Later on I'm taking kiddo to a "gingerbread house" party and planned to stay and help out so . .. I'd better get rid of this headache now!
Yesterday was a fun day, but too busy. Food intake was good, but not purposeful exercise and not enough fruit & water. No wonder I feel like my skull is about to crack open.
Probably skipping church altogether today, though I was really curious to go learn about "the evolution of religion" this morning. If I had somebody to drive me I just might, but getting behind the wheel just isn't sounding appealing right now. Later on I'm taking kiddo to a "gingerbread house" party and planned to stay and help out so . .. I'd better get rid of this headache now!
04 December 2010
Sam she Am, Oh Sam she am. I just might like that Sam she Am
Oddly enough, Tom's real name is Sam.
I went easy on her yesterday after some sob story about her puppy being on death's doorstep and how she cried all day on Thursday. They had to make the hard choice to turn him over to the hospital because even if he does recover (50/50 chance) from ingesting whatever it was that he ate, he is going to need quite a bit of care, more than they can handle. She was relieved that my plan to lick her water bottle was foiled. This morning, my muscles are aching and I'm struggling with my decision. Alas, there is nothing I can do now.
She is actually a really nice lady and I love her to pieces, but I do like to give her a bad time about trying to kill me and torture me. She's cute as a button and has a great smile. We're done with our required trainer workouts now, but she'll be around to torture me and make sure I'm challenging myself. I not-so-secretly like it. You all have heard what an attention monger I am. It's true.
I went easy on her yesterday after some sob story about her puppy being on death's doorstep and how she cried all day on Thursday. They had to make the hard choice to turn him over to the hospital because even if he does recover (50/50 chance) from ingesting whatever it was that he ate, he is going to need quite a bit of care, more than they can handle. She was relieved that my plan to lick her water bottle was foiled. This morning, my muscles are aching and I'm struggling with my decision. Alas, there is nothing I can do now.
She is actually a really nice lady and I love her to pieces, but I do like to give her a bad time about trying to kill me and torture me. She's cute as a button and has a great smile. We're done with our required trainer workouts now, but she'll be around to torture me and make sure I'm challenging myself. I not-so-secretly like it. You all have heard what an attention monger I am. It's true.
03 December 2010
quick morning post hot 100 & blowing it
No, RNTG, not that kind of blowing it.
I had a slight weight gain this week. two-point-something, i haven't time to look and do the math. Lots of muscle building this week and some NSVs which I will hopefully post later. It could also be the gimongous ball of snot that is resting somewhere between my sinuses and my throat. Feels like it weighs 40 lbs. If today wasn't my final training with Tom, I'd go back to bed. I'm gonna go breathe on her and lick her water bottle when she's not paying attention.
Bedtime, not so good - There's been a lot of reading to do on blogger lately.
Fruit - about average
Hubby - mentioned "crash diet" this week and I asked him not to be a bad influence on our impressionable tween
Time to prop up these sinuses and go lift some weights. 3 reps of 12. Only thing I want to lift is blankets over my head.
I had a slight weight gain this week. two-point-something, i haven't time to look and do the math. Lots of muscle building this week and some NSVs which I will hopefully post later. It could also be the gimongous ball of snot that is resting somewhere between my sinuses and my throat. Feels like it weighs 40 lbs. If today wasn't my final training with Tom, I'd go back to bed. I'm gonna go breathe on her and lick her water bottle when she's not paying attention.
Bedtime, not so good - There's been a lot of reading to do on blogger lately.
Fruit - about average
Hubby - mentioned "crash diet" this week and I asked him not to be a bad influence on our impressionable tween
Time to prop up these sinuses and go lift some weights. 3 reps of 12. Only thing I want to lift is blankets over my head.
02 December 2010
On a lighter note . . .
It's baking time for the holidays. Does anybody have any tried and true lower-calorie cookie recipes to share? I'll be doing some research on eatbetteramerica.com as well but if you have recommendations, I'd love to hear them!
You know . . .maybe the eliptical is not so bad afterall!
Tom hates me. I'm sure of it now. She's the one that talked me into trying out the spinning class and this was AFTER she knew I had knee problems. She did, however, recommend that I draw attention to myself by introducing myself to the instructor as a new student to ensure that my bike was set up properly.
Let me take a moment to tell you that I had done my research. I knew this was going to hurt. I knew my big-fat-oversized buttoxen would be aching after hanging over that tiny concrete bike seat for an hour. I had heard that this lady is very good about keeping you off your buttoxen to lessen such injury. I knew I would sweat, be uncomfortable, burn calories. I had been warned and I took these warnings into account. But this trainer - you know, the one that's been trying to kill me all week? For some reason, I trusted her. I'm beginning to think she hates fat people. Damn you, Tom Riddle in sports bra!
By the time class actually started, I was already tired. Seriously. All the standing up and peddling to make sure all of the bike settings were properly . .. um. . .set . . .tired me out. But I thought I'd catch my groove (no bike seat/ooh-ha pun intended) and at least be able to burn some calories.
I don't know how many minute we were into the workout. Not many, let me tell you that! I think it was on the second "climb" that my right knee gave out and I felt myself pitching forward. In super-slow motion, I felt myself lurching forward face-first over the handlebars. Luckily, my feet were convieniently strapped into the torture device to prevent that evenutality. I hit the handle bars but luckily the fall was broken by some enormous cushions I carry around with me. Yipes. The best part? All the wile, my legs kept going because that's how the torture works! Nobody seemed to notice, oddly. It was almost exactly like one of those dreams where you're in high school walking around in the hallways and nobody seems to notice something's different, only here I was actually wearing a shirt. I checked though, hoping it was just a nightmare. I've been disappointed before to find myself fully clothed, but today it was somewhat of a relief. Luckily I had the presence of mind to reach down and press the break so that my legs would stop their roadrunner-like blur.
At this point, I took a drink from my water bottle (I may take up an alcohol habit before I do this again) and nonchalantly (I tell myself) regained my composure (again, I tell myself) and begin to ride. My knee works, but there is no way I am standing while pedalling again. Ever. Or at least until I can squat with my body weight comfortably and for extended periods of time.
The instructor had said that we shouldn't worry about keeping up and if we could just sit and ride the first time, that's all she expected of us. So I sat. And I rode. And that knee? It began to really hurt. Not just be challenged now - but there was a pinching sensation at a certain point with every rotation. Not something I would equate with muscle pain or even arthritis or plica discomfort. It was more like "something's not in the right place" twinges of pain. I endured it for a long time, but it continued to increase in intensity with each stroke of the pedal, so I hit the brake again, sure that the class would be over soon. I looked up at the clock and discovered that we were only 20 minutes into the 50 minute class. I sat there, dramatically rubbing my knee so that the instructor would realize that I'm not just a lazy fat chick but in fact an injured lazy fat chick. She gave me the nod of injured lazy fat chick recognition and I tried again. Ouch. So I sat and sat with that seat sinking into my voluminious butt. I was in the back corner the furthest from the doors. The lights were off, there were no windows, only mirrors in this small room. No way was I trying to walk across a room of skinny spinners on my escape route. I would just have to sit there. No, stand! I could stand!
I wrestled my feet from their restraints and put one, and then the other, gloriously on the tile floor. I extracted the bike seat from my nether regions and stood, straddling the bike frame, like a doe (doh!) in the headlights. And I began to panic. What if somebody thinks I'm looking at them? Here I am in the back row with all these butts in front of me. I must watch the instructor only. Yeah, that makes sense. Is there any air circulating in this room? Oh my god, this is so embarassing to be the most obese person in here and look so damn lazy for actually stopping AND dismounting the bike. I'm so pissed at my body for doing this to me. I'm trying! TRYING to be healthy and this is how it repays me? Now I have the choice to bolt (oh no, I did NOT underestimate that urge) or to stay and not make a big scene, standing standing standing for the next 30 minutes. God, the music was awful. Really? Country? Something about falling to pieces, something about yer killin me? Seriously? Focus on the fan, it's moving, the air is moving. The room is so dark and so small and I'm hating this.
How could it get worse? Oh, I have an idea! Maybe the instructor can come SPEAK TO ME PERSONALLY as the music continues. That won't draw attention at all. She was kind, she said it was ok to just stand there until I felt like I wanted to get on again. She understood that knee problems can be wicked. Man, that would really be embarassing IF SHE WAS STILL WEARING HER MICROPHONE HEADSET. Somebody, please shoot me. I swear I took my meds last night. I did get back on and pedal w/o resistance for the "cool down" song and then did the stretches. I salvaged some pride that way.
Maybe this is something I'll do again in my maintenance phase. And then? Then I'll grab the bike closest to the door and maybe wear a brace on my bad (worse) knee the first time. Naturally, the instructor wouldn't let me out the door (yeah, just one door! can you say safety hazard?) and gave me advice on strengthening my leg muscles to support my knee. Things I've already been doing. I would told her Tom Riddle herself had recommended the class for me, even after being notified of knee issues, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have known who I was talking about anyway. Tom will get hers tomorrow, even if I have to beat her with my new cane.
Btw, no problems with the knee as far as walking, but my buttoxen "hurt like hell."
Let me take a moment to tell you that I had done my research. I knew this was going to hurt. I knew my big-fat-oversized buttoxen would be aching after hanging over that tiny concrete bike seat for an hour. I had heard that this lady is very good about keeping you off your buttoxen to lessen such injury. I knew I would sweat, be uncomfortable, burn calories. I had been warned and I took these warnings into account. But this trainer - you know, the one that's been trying to kill me all week? For some reason, I trusted her. I'm beginning to think she hates fat people. Damn you, Tom Riddle in sports bra!
By the time class actually started, I was already tired. Seriously. All the standing up and peddling to make sure all of the bike settings were properly . .. um. . .set . . .tired me out. But I thought I'd catch my groove (no bike seat/ooh-ha pun intended) and at least be able to burn some calories.
I don't know how many minute we were into the workout. Not many, let me tell you that! I think it was on the second "climb" that my right knee gave out and I felt myself pitching forward. In super-slow motion, I felt myself lurching forward face-first over the handlebars. Luckily, my feet were convieniently strapped into the torture device to prevent that evenutality. I hit the handle bars but luckily the fall was broken by some enormous cushions I carry around with me. Yipes. The best part? All the wile, my legs kept going because that's how the torture works! Nobody seemed to notice, oddly. It was almost exactly like one of those dreams where you're in high school walking around in the hallways and nobody seems to notice something's different, only here I was actually wearing a shirt. I checked though, hoping it was just a nightmare. I've been disappointed before to find myself fully clothed, but today it was somewhat of a relief. Luckily I had the presence of mind to reach down and press the break so that my legs would stop their roadrunner-like blur.
At this point, I took a drink from my water bottle (I may take up an alcohol habit before I do this again) and nonchalantly (I tell myself) regained my composure (again, I tell myself) and begin to ride. My knee works, but there is no way I am standing while pedalling again. Ever. Or at least until I can squat with my body weight comfortably and for extended periods of time.
The instructor had said that we shouldn't worry about keeping up and if we could just sit and ride the first time, that's all she expected of us. So I sat. And I rode. And that knee? It began to really hurt. Not just be challenged now - but there was a pinching sensation at a certain point with every rotation. Not something I would equate with muscle pain or even arthritis or plica discomfort. It was more like "something's not in the right place" twinges of pain. I endured it for a long time, but it continued to increase in intensity with each stroke of the pedal, so I hit the brake again, sure that the class would be over soon. I looked up at the clock and discovered that we were only 20 minutes into the 50 minute class. I sat there, dramatically rubbing my knee so that the instructor would realize that I'm not just a lazy fat chick but in fact an injured lazy fat chick. She gave me the nod of injured lazy fat chick recognition and I tried again. Ouch. So I sat and sat with that seat sinking into my voluminious butt. I was in the back corner the furthest from the doors. The lights were off, there were no windows, only mirrors in this small room. No way was I trying to walk across a room of skinny spinners on my escape route. I would just have to sit there. No, stand! I could stand!
I wrestled my feet from their restraints and put one, and then the other, gloriously on the tile floor. I extracted the bike seat from my nether regions and stood, straddling the bike frame, like a doe (doh!) in the headlights. And I began to panic. What if somebody thinks I'm looking at them? Here I am in the back row with all these butts in front of me. I must watch the instructor only. Yeah, that makes sense. Is there any air circulating in this room? Oh my god, this is so embarassing to be the most obese person in here and look so damn lazy for actually stopping AND dismounting the bike. I'm so pissed at my body for doing this to me. I'm trying! TRYING to be healthy and this is how it repays me? Now I have the choice to bolt (oh no, I did NOT underestimate that urge) or to stay and not make a big scene, standing standing standing for the next 30 minutes. God, the music was awful. Really? Country? Something about falling to pieces, something about yer killin me? Seriously? Focus on the fan, it's moving, the air is moving. The room is so dark and so small and I'm hating this.
How could it get worse? Oh, I have an idea! Maybe the instructor can come SPEAK TO ME PERSONALLY as the music continues. That won't draw attention at all. She was kind, she said it was ok to just stand there until I felt like I wanted to get on again. She understood that knee problems can be wicked. Man, that would really be embarassing IF SHE WAS STILL WEARING HER MICROPHONE HEADSET. Somebody, please shoot me. I swear I took my meds last night. I did get back on and pedal w/o resistance for the "cool down" song and then did the stretches. I salvaged some pride that way.
Maybe this is something I'll do again in my maintenance phase. And then? Then I'll grab the bike closest to the door and maybe wear a brace on my bad (worse) knee the first time. Naturally, the instructor wouldn't let me out the door (yeah, just one door! can you say safety hazard?) and gave me advice on strengthening my leg muscles to support my knee. Things I've already been doing. I would told her Tom Riddle herself had recommended the class for me, even after being notified of knee issues, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have known who I was talking about anyway. Tom will get hers tomorrow, even if I have to beat her with my new cane.
Btw, no problems with the knee as far as walking, but my buttoxen "hurt like hell."
01 December 2010
ack!
here I am up past bedtime again. I have no idea whether or not I drank enough water today. I was reading so much online that I didn't pay attention to how many times I filled my 64 oz cup.
A new magazine came today, thanks to a school fundraiser from a coupla months ago. We had already been hooked on Scientific American and now I also get Scientific American Mind. I really want to dive into it when I go to bed, but I'm worried I'll be up until I finish it. *twitch* *twitch*
Piling on the blankets in a few minutes. Prolly with the zine, if my warm fluffy cat cuddles in, I'll be out in 10 minutes
A new magazine came today, thanks to a school fundraiser from a coupla months ago. We had already been hooked on Scientific American and now I also get Scientific American Mind. I really want to dive into it when I go to bed, but I'm worried I'll be up until I finish it. *twitch* *twitch*
Piling on the blankets in a few minutes. Prolly with the zine, if my warm fluffy cat cuddles in, I'll be out in 10 minutes
4 Hours ago
Over 4 hours ago, I got home from my workout. I ate my lunch - nuked potato with cheese - and sat down at the computer to catch up on blogs before writing my own super-inpired interest. Kiddo's bus will arrive in about 20 minutes but writing is in the air and I just can't get caught up on all these blogs. As soons as I read a post, 3 more new ones come up. I read an entire blog from a noob that I just adore. Unfortunately, I didn't save it to link to her, but I "followed" her so when she posts next, it should show up on my feed. I started 2 more inspired posts that I want to come back and flesh out later. I had some great movies on AMC in the background. I read, and commented, read & commented . . .it was so much fun. I talked to BFF on the phone, also very very fun. I read some personal emails. One from my favorite blogger that was so supersweet that, if I were a sensitive person, would have made me cry like a big old baby and eat a bag of Reese's minis. Since I'm not, though, I only cried and ate 1 serving of kettle corn. Hmmm. . .that would be even better dipped in chocolate. Anyhoodle, there is a lot of energy out there in blogland today! Also, I did one and a half loads of laundry. I will have to kick ass on the kitchen before hubster comes home.
Before all this excitement, I had the second session with a trainer at the gym. Let's protect her privacy by calling her Tom Riddle. Tom expected me to do twice a many reps as I did 2 days ago with the same amount of weight. Tom showed me some "fun" new machines and exercise. Tom is the heart of all that is evil and she must be destroyed. As soon as I can raise my arms again. I'll be seeing her on Friday for our 3rd and final meeting. I'll need to bring my unicorn-hair wand.
Before that, I did about 15 minutes cardio, and did a little more afterwards to get the blood flowing or some such nonsense.
Tonight we'll be dining at Buffalo Wild Wings which may be a challenge. I need to check out their menu before we go. It's a school fundraiser and will be fun to visit friends. Later, we'll watch Survivor as a family. I will snack on water. Yum, water! It's been a while since I've blogged about water.
Oh yeah, and the eliptical? It was my bitch for 13 minutes today.
Before all this excitement, I had the second session with a trainer at the gym. Let's protect her privacy by calling her Tom Riddle. Tom expected me to do twice a many reps as I did 2 days ago with the same amount of weight. Tom showed me some "fun" new machines and exercise. Tom is the heart of all that is evil and she must be destroyed. As soon as I can raise my arms again. I'll be seeing her on Friday for our 3rd and final meeting. I'll need to bring my unicorn-hair wand.
Before that, I did about 15 minutes cardio, and did a little more afterwards to get the blood flowing or some such nonsense.
Tonight we'll be dining at Buffalo Wild Wings which may be a challenge. I need to check out their menu before we go. It's a school fundraiser and will be fun to visit friends. Later, we'll watch Survivor as a family. I will snack on water. Yum, water! It's been a while since I've blogged about water.
Oh yeah, and the eliptical? It was my bitch for 13 minutes today.
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