checking in

I read The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz recently and am incorporating as much as I can into my daily life. Look here in the near future for reflections on how they apply to health and wellness.

My mind is so distracted and disorganized lately. I've got to gain the focus I had 6 months ago. I really miss reading everyone's blogs, and yet I can't justify spending so much time online.

I really should weigh myself.

See today's post on my writing/opinion blog and tell me what you think.

Only THREE WEEKS??

When Biggest Loser started this last season, I promised myself that next season - next season, there would be nobody on the show starting off with a lower weight than me.

Now Allison drops the bomb that the next season is only THREE WEEKS AWAY?? WHAT?!?!?!  I thought I had more time. I guess I"ve always thought I had more time. 

Twice the number of contestants next time, and 2 new trainers.

There are some REALLY large people on next season. I hope there are none lighter than me, but I've got to kick it into gear in the next 3 weeks and set the bar even lower.

This is the first season I've ever watched the whole way through. Usually I lose interet when they get lighter than me. Who wants to watch other people succeed, after all? Apparently, this new me does. I'm enjoying the finale and I won't spoil it for those of you who haven't seen it yet.

Enjoy!

Hot 100 and "I Refuse to Blow It Over the Holidays" update

I've lost 9 lbs since the first day of autumn. More would be better, but as long as it's going the right direction, I won't complain.

Health: Go to bed by 10 pm nightly
I've done very well on this except for last night when I had a hard time winding down after a day full of family fun :)

Nutrition: Eat more fruit!
I could do a lot better. I've been slacking here but I have lots of big juicy grapes waiting for me and I don't intend to let them go to waste!

Activity: Achieve BMI at or below 35
36.82 It's getting there! And with the new gym membership, it should get there a LOT faster now

Accountability: Blog at least 2x daily
This has been more difficult with all of the holiday prep and not much profound to say. Not a lot on my mind except for cleaning.


Pay it Forward: Encourage hubby to join the journey

Quote of the day "I could try to lose weight too, ya know"  :)

What a difference a day makes!

Overnight I have eliminated half of my setback aka I lost 2 of the 4 lbs that I gained by not being dilligent about exercise. My eating was still not spot-on but oh so much better than it had been. Yummy fruits were consumed, whole grains, nut butters, veggies, and much less chocolate then was available although still much more than necessary. The two and a halaf mile walk paid off so well!

Kiddo is home from school today and again on Friday. I can't let my dillegence flounder again just because my schedule isn't 100% mine to control. At least she'll be home to guard her candy!

Update on Challenges

Health: Go to bed by 10 pm nightly
- Only stayed up to 11 one night this week!



Food: Eat more fruit!
-Just realized I didn't have any fruit at all yesterday (unless you count banana bread) but have been working it in every day except then!

Activity: Achieve BMI at or below 35
Last week it was 37.72 and today it's (drumroll please) 37.3!



Accountability: Blog at least 2x daily
Check!



Pay it Forward: Encourage hubby to join the journey
I'm approaching his weight. Maybe that will motivate him. Only 5 more lbs to go.



Still trending downward which is the goal for the "I'm Not Going to Blow It Over the Holidays" challenge. In fact, I'm down more than 5 lbs since the first day of the challenge.

Please click on the tags in my sidebar to find out more about each challenge.

And being down 50 lbs overall makes me VERY happy!

So far today

So far today I have already had my usual 300 calorie breakfast, weighed in on the Wii Fit which continues it's downward trend on the weight chart, and jogged the "lap" trail on Basic Run.

FLYlady is not a high priority this week. I've been reading the emails but after being sick last week, I really want to work on exercise and regaining the stamina that I lost there. In the meantime, I'm picking up and trying to make the house a LITTLE nicer every day, but I'm not going full throttle. The kitchen shows already. Still, I gotta keep my health as my #1 priority. I'm closing in on hubby's weight now and he's talked a little about going to a weight loss clinic, but I'm not sure yet how serious he is.

One of my friends who helped motivate me to start on this healthy living lifestyle has recently considered getting a lapband. She went to the introductory meeting last week. She is a cancer survivor and is shying away from any additional surgery, though. She has so much going on in her life with a new job, new marriage, blended family, too-small house, and new state of residence. I'm really missing her and the kids. I wonder what they will end up doing. I worry.

And so I'm rambling. . . .Time to call BFF and then off to the shower. I have lots of errands that need to be done, including purchasing packing tape and mailing some things. Will I get them accomplished today? Let's not count on it. No promises.

It's all good.

Scale numbers are still trending downwards. Eating when I'm hungry is going well and making good choices about food. Whole grains, lots of fruits and veggies, chuggin' the water. Exercising daily. Walked a mile today - about 3500 steps - on the Wii Walk It Out game. Gotta love the music on there - Black Eyed Peas, Smashtrax, all kindsa goodies.

More photos of the kitchen to come tomorrow. Maybe I'll get it all nice and shiny before my trip. I intend to take some photos and print them out & tape them to the fridge so Sweetie knows what I expect it to look like when I return.

Very sleepy tonight. No problem getting to bed before 10 as long as the kitchen hasn't been wrecked when I go down to shine the sink. I just found out that I left the light on in the garden shed earlier as well so it looks like I get to go outside in my new PJ's. Well, at least they fit for a change.

Finally!

I finally broke through the 30 lb lost barrier into the world of 31.  With daily fluctuations, who knows how long it will stay there, but I've been on a downward trend for the last few days and plan to keep it going. Feels good to have a scale victory again.

Clothes aren't fitting right and I hate to buy new things in every size. Maybe I'll hit the thrift store today and see what I can come up with for this cooler weather.

It looks like there were a lot of  updates over night, so I have some reading to catch up on over in the sidebar. Ready to be (even more) inspired!

Eleven days

Eleven days until I go to the doctor. I was hoping to have more weight loss accomplished by then. I take ownership for my backslide in August, but it's unbelievably hard to recover from it. I hope I remember that next time I decide to be careless with what I put into my body.

The appointment is mainly to check how my thyroid is doing and to berate me for not having a mammogram. Ha! Well, I tricked her! I actually scheduled a mammogram for Tuesday. I'd rather have a candy gram, but there you have it.

I don't think the thyroid meds are doing much. I am still tired more than the average hibernating bear. I'd go back to bed right now except that kiddo's alarm is going off in 20 minutes and I hate waking up.  I don't like to do it more than once every few hours. So if she ups the dosage of thyroid medication maybe it won't be quite as much work for these pounds to melt off. Of course, I want it to be as easy as possible. You don't get this fat without being a tad lazy about things.

I'm going to keep working and see what I can accomplish in these next 11 days. Keep in mind that we have a birthday in there for kiddo at the ball park. Nothing like baseball stadium food to keep one on track, right? Including Toft's ice cream. Yum! And she has opted for cheesecake instead of birthday cake. I think she may be trying to kill me. She's like Stewie on Family Guy, only taller and prettier!

Diet Atheist

Confession: I'm a diet atheist. I don't believe in them, or any one diet in paticular, anyway. Sure, some might work for some people for a little time, but for the most part, I don't feel diets are sustainable because they are based on restriction and most people, at least Americans, are not "into" that type of thing.

Another confession, I swiped the term diet atheist from Jennette Fulda. I just finished reading her amazingly funny and insightful book entitled Half-Assed. What a smart, witty lady she is. I wish she were my friend IRL! I love the way she thinks.

Among a myriad of other astute observations, Jenette writes that "if the diet industry knew how to successfully help people maintain long-term weight loss, it would have put itself out of business decades ago." Good point, Pasta Queen!

I refuse to diet. Instead, I will continue to adopt what we all know is a healthier lifestyle - eating less and moving more. I will continue to work towards not allowing my emotions to dictate when or what I eat. I will use my knowledge and body cues instead to make those decisions. I can do this. So can you.

The scale is my friend.

Just like all my other friends, it has it's disagreeable moments. Today I'm back down 3.1 lbs - so yesterday was obviously a fluke. I'm back in my severe phase and done with morbid. Hopefully, for good.

Already this morning, my tummy is growly but I can't decide what a really really want. Probably something cheesey, knowing me.

Forgive me for being morbid

My BMI today is 40. I am still morbildy obese, but on the cusp of severely obese. Three more pounds lost will put me at 39. It might be too much to hope for by the end of the week, but I'm working hard - moving more, eating less, feeling good about my life.

I'm feeling extremely positive today and overflowing with love. Watch out, you don't wanna get any on ya! It's oozing out of my very pores. Ooze, ooze. See that? There's some more. Don't slip on it.

I have AWESOME NEWS!

Not only did my doctor and nurse make the expected BIG FUSS over me today (According to their records, I have lost 10 lbs since I was there in early June) but I also have . . . ~drumroll please~ an underactive thyroid! WOOT! That means, among other things that it is MORE difficult for me to lose weight. And look how good I've been doing! :D I am so proud of myself!

So, I start taking the synthroid meds .5mcg tomorrow morning and then wait a half hour (workout time?) before eating anything. That should help my weight come off EVEN FASTER!

Here's the downside. I really wanted to do this "all by myself." Without diets or special food or special exercise program. I wanted to use common sense and self control through recognizing my binge triggers and working through my emotions in a more productive way. Well, I'm still going to do that, but I already know that my mother - and others - will atrribute any success I have to the meds, and forget all about how far I've already come all on my own -despite this wonky thyroid!

I know, I know . .. I'm 40 years old and should not be longing for my mother's approval, or expecting it since I have rarely recieved it in the last 40 years. Still, I can't help but want to take credit for doing something incredible and being noticed for it. I guess I better go read some more Geneen! Maybe she has some more answers.

Oh, and my BFF (who is also being extremely successful with a similar lifestyle change) really needs to stop telling me what not to eat. I love her and couldn't imagine life without her, but it I'm immature and it still makes me want to rebel and show the world that I can eat what I "want" to, not what they tell me to. Do you think I'll ever get over that?

Clothing dilemma

Tomorrow I'm expected to attend a girl scout function at a public pool. Yes, I have a swimsuit and yes, I've been seen wearing one in public before - but here's the catch.

This paticular swimsuit was CHEAP - I mean like $5 on clearance and also not just inexpensive but poorly designed. And I'm not talking about just not being flattering. This damn suit is PAINFUL. It has a big plastic hook that lays on (presses against) the top of spine just before my neck and hurts like HELL on a hot biscuit after about ten of fifteen minutes.

Now at home, I can just take the straps down and swim around in the pond soaking up the algea and burning calories and I don't care. However, I'm convinced that people will think I'm trying to look sexy if I don't wear the straps in public. Like what the hell is tha fat chick doing with no straps? Does she know what sh'es risking? Holy crap! There are Children here!

Yeah, so, I can afford a new suit but I really didn't want to buy one until I got another size down. I'm having this issue with a lot of my clothes - when do I buy new ones? I know the old ones are going far far away never to be seen again. There will be no "after" photos of me holding up my old pants a la Jared of Subway fame. Yes, I'll keep the photo of my 8 year old daughter fitting into one leg of my "before" jeans, though. I love that picture.

So, I know I won't be able to withstand the pain of the damn cheap swimsuit and I guess I'm going to buy a new one. I'll probably even buy one that fits a bit tightly. As for the rest of my clothes, I'll probably wait until (1) they are falling off of me or (2) I need something else for a special occasion.

But I'm curious - my weight loss blogosphere buddies - when do you decide to buy new clothes? Every size down could be quite expensive. Anybody who thinks they might need my size 24/26's in the not-so-near future is welcome to them, by the way> I'll be donating them to charity anyway so if you're a step or two behind me, and you want them, they're yours.