I'm getting DiddlySquat for New Years.

I've been considering for a long time doing the 200 Squat Challenge. I see that The Merry over at Sheesh just finished the challenge. I'm considering starting it tomorrow. You begin slowly and work your way up to doing 200 squats at a time, over about 6 weeks.

Details and instructions are here.

Join me in strengthening our legs. I want to get rid of this knee pain and also complete a Spinning class without embarassing myself. Who's with me?

And if you need the perfect squat music to work out with, here it is!

Clothing dilemma

Tomorrow I'm expected to attend a girl scout function at a public pool. Yes, I have a swimsuit and yes, I've been seen wearing one in public before - but here's the catch.

This paticular swimsuit was CHEAP - I mean like $5 on clearance and also not just inexpensive but poorly designed. And I'm not talking about just not being flattering. This damn suit is PAINFUL. It has a big plastic hook that lays on (presses against) the top of spine just before my neck and hurts like HELL on a hot biscuit after about ten of fifteen minutes.

Now at home, I can just take the straps down and swim around in the pond soaking up the algea and burning calories and I don't care. However, I'm convinced that people will think I'm trying to look sexy if I don't wear the straps in public. Like what the hell is tha fat chick doing with no straps? Does she know what sh'es risking? Holy crap! There are Children here!

Yeah, so, I can afford a new suit but I really didn't want to buy one until I got another size down. I'm having this issue with a lot of my clothes - when do I buy new ones? I know the old ones are going far far away never to be seen again. There will be no "after" photos of me holding up my old pants a la Jared of Subway fame. Yes, I'll keep the photo of my 8 year old daughter fitting into one leg of my "before" jeans, though. I love that picture.

So, I know I won't be able to withstand the pain of the damn cheap swimsuit and I guess I'm going to buy a new one. I'll probably even buy one that fits a bit tightly. As for the rest of my clothes, I'll probably wait until (1) they are falling off of me or (2) I need something else for a special occasion.

But I'm curious - my weight loss blogosphere buddies - when do you decide to buy new clothes? Every size down could be quite expensive. Anybody who thinks they might need my size 24/26's in the not-so-near future is welcome to them, by the way> I'll be donating them to charity anyway so if you're a step or two behind me, and you want them, they're yours.

Healthy Schmealthy

I'm going to be healthy. This long slow suicide dance I've played with food and sloth has got to end. I have a kid, 8 1/2 years old, who is worth living for and worth the effort to make it work.

I haven't dieted a lot in the past. I was on Richard Simmons' Food Mover Plan circa Y2K or so and did well on it, until I started working for a really awesome food catalog order company and I just wanted to eat what I wanted to eat. I didn't like depriving myself. I felt I "deserved" to eat what I wanted to. A year or so later, I was put on the diabetic diet during my pregnancy. I lost quite a bit on that. I was very strict with myself. I knew from my close relative's experience what it was like to take care of a special needs child and I was determined to do everything "right" during my pregnancy. If something "went wrong" it wasn't going to be for my lack of trying. After my healthy baby girl was born, I could eat whatever I wanted to again.And I did. Now, weighing in at 272 it's time to "stop the insanity" as Susan Powter once preached. I'm on the verge of diabetes, struggle to tie my shoes or pick up things from the floor, lack stamina to play with my kid the way I'd like to, and am tired all.the.time.

I've got all the tools I need. I have a support network. I have space to workout, I am armed with knowledge of nutrition, I've got a pedometer, a swimming pond, a Wii Fit, and a DS Weightloss Coach. I've read Richard Simmons, Susan Powter, and Geneen Roth. I understand that I'm an emotional eater, a permitter, and a binger. I know that as an adult I am responsible for my own choices, including what I put in my mouth and how much I move.

I need to be healthy. To be able play and live, take care of my home, and be productive. I need to get over it, move on, be a grown up, and listen to my body, not the stories my mind is telling me. Ignore the mindtapes, the voice and the inner child, and find me-my-mine. I can do this and one way I'm going to do it is to start a blog here to help myself feel accountable for my choices. I'm going to link to fitblogs and to my brother-in-law who is one of the finest people I know.

Welcome.