well . . .that coulda been a lot worse

I weighed myself today - for the first time in a loooooooooooooong time. Like maybe 2 months. I was scared. I finally told myself this morning, things like  "it is what it is, whether you know it or not" and "knowledge is power."  I was sure it would be +15 at the worst, so seeing the +4, especially just before ovulation . . . what a relief.

Today my plan is put the kid on the bus, play Walk It Out for at LEAST 30 minutes, shower, and then work on cleaning the master bedroom until hubby comes home for lunch. After that I pick up Kiddo early from school and take her to the doctor for some kind of creepy zit/skin infection (probably MRSA says my anxiety voice) on her ear.

Forces of the universe conspire against me.

That has to be it, since I am the center of all that exists.

My goal today was three miles on the treadmill after seeing what I could do on the eliptical. But, I have a sick kid again and so will be staying home. I'm determined to use Walk It Out for my three miles which will probably be much easier. The trick will be making kid REST while I'm doing it instead of playing along.

Peer Pressure workout

I promised myself today that I was going to walk on a treadmill for 1.6 miles which I'm told is half of a 5K. I want to sign up for some 5K's coming up, even if just to walk them. I won't do it though until I can prove to myself that I CAN walk that far. Once I prove that, I may just go ahead and invest in an iPod and get the C25K app so I can learn to run that far. Maybe.








I think it's been since January since I was working out daily. I've done a little here and there, but nothing to sustain the muscle that I had attained. Saturday we went to a nearby university for Kiddo to participate in a Youth Olympics. I brought my knitting in my backpack along with a few other items and I was SORE from carrying that around all day. I found myself wanting to sit down - a lot. I found it a bit difficult to get up off the floor after sitting down. 3 months ago that wouldn't have been the case.







This morning I hauled my paczki laden hips out to the gym right after Kiddo got on the bus. My belly was hurting from yesterday's abuse and I was tired from staying up reading my Picoult novel and the time change. Fat lady in my mind was saying "stay home, take a nap!" but I really really wanted to see my big city girlfriends so I went before I could get comfortable at home. Once I was there, I realized it was a half hour before school started for them. Oh well, I thought, At least I will see them in passing and get to chat a little on my way out. But when I got to 1.5 mile and the treadmill beside me opened up and my friends joined me, we had such a fun time talking that I lost track of time. My legs eventually began aching so I slowed down a tiny bit when I would've normally quit and gone home. I reminded myself that a bit of discomfort wouldn't do me any harm - look at the people on Biggest Loser who work out until they hurl. Nasty.







Discomfort morphed into pain and finally the other girls wanted to quit and lift weights. I looked at my workout summary and was amazed.

My goal for tomorrow? 3 miles.

As I progress, we'll see more photos illustrating incline. Baby steps my friends - baby steps.

My back feels AWESOME.



I came home at ate a banana. I'm still hungry so I might go find some walnuts or almonds to nosh on while I start working on my hideous to-do list.



I've taken vitamins 2 days in a row thanks to Spunkysuzi's challenge.
 
I'll try to get a better quality photo next time.

Let's get Physical!

My friend posted the old music video for Olivia Newton John's old song, "Let's Get Physical". Have you seen it lately? I do NOT remember it like I saw it when he posted it on my wall. I laughed SO HARD. Much different perspective on it than I had 20 years ago, that's for sure.

But tomorrow is my first day back at the gym. I'll go every day but Wednesday, unless something else comes up. If we have another snow day . .. the kid is coming with me and going in the daycare. She'll be allrye.

Treating myself/my friend

Although I've been feeling much better, you can tell I'm still not "focused" on blogging. I am treating myself to some fiction these days before diving into the newly released Geneen Roth book. I'm reading the brand new Jodi Picoult novel on my Kindle and I am.loving.it.  I intend to emerge on the other side of this fiction binge any day now and also knit a baby blanket or two in the meantime. I also fully intend to hit the gym Monday morning and later in the day go see my BFF and her newly shaved head.

I can't tell you how proud I am of her. It's not just that she's raising tons of money and having her own head shaved. She actually is organizing the event, recruiting other shavees and, collecting donations for a silent auction. She has no fear. I adore her. She's making a difference in the world and helping kids that she doesn't even know. I love you, dude!

so much for spring

Two hour delay today - so no gym time for me. I'll be hittin the Wii later for sure though! Other good news: no more paczki reside in my house. Sweetie was kind enough to eat them up and most of the girl scout cookies too. He is so good to me. I love him.

I can't believe the beautiful snow that was dumped on us after our pond was finally all melted and the ducks had begun to nest. And their food is covered with snow now.  I hope they can find it. I took some pictures of the loveliness this morning and will try to get time to come back and share them with you later.

In other news, some people are just bitches. They are ALWAYS looking to be offended by something or start a fight. They can't look past their own little world far enough to muster compassion for other living things or care about the impact of their actions/choices on others. These are the kinds of people I know I need to elminate from my life and yet . . . I don't want to make trouble. WTF is up with that? I'm sure it's not healthy, this unreasonable attachment to toxic people. Sometimes, they are friends of friends and I'll run into them from time to time IRL it makes it really awkward for me. Why am I afraid of a little discomfort? What is it that I think is going to happen?  Am I waiting for them to dump me first?  I really need to surround myself with positiveness and light, not selfishness and small mindedness. I don't need to worry about snarky comments from others or what they're going to say about me. And really? Who the hell cares what Defiance, Ohio thinks about me anyway. Know what? I think I'll use this to motivate me to work out harder today! Anger is a good fuel.

Hope

There's a pair of mallard ducks that has been taking a tour of our yard today. I think they are scouting out a good nesting area because when they're not wandering around checking out all the nooks and crannies of the yard, they are busily mating on the pond. Hey you two!  I swim in that pond!

There is also a pair of Canada geese swimming around out there but when they aren't swimming they are pooping on the dock. Or, as they refer to it - the poopdeck.  Yesterday we had a pair of mergansers as well, but I'd be suprised if they come back. Tried to get some photos but they are little guys and you can't get very close to them.

There's still some snow in the yard, and still a sheet of ice floating on a portion of the pond, but it looks like spring will be here soon. I've been doing some research about beekeeping and was hoping to set up a small apiary this year, but I'm still anxious about it. I want to make sure we do everything right and we may not have time to set it all up for this year. We do have honeybees come to drink out of the pond in the summer and there are some hives within a couple of miles.  Do I need more things to take care of? Would it be as rewarding and fulfilling as I think it could be?

Oh yeah, I powerwalked at the mall a bit today. Met up with some friends there and had Subway. Was doing really well then when I came home until the Tagalongs got me. Bastards. At least there are only 15 in a box now. Next year I'm just donating money.

Progress not Perfection, Using Powers for GOOD instead of EVIL

Earlier this week, I read on some wonderful blog about looking for "Progress not Perfection." I intended to save the spot so that I could refer back to it when I had the time to write out my blog post. But, I've lost track of it. (Please let me know if it was you so I can link back to you!)

At any rate, one of the reasons I shy away from setting goals is because I (now, IRL friends will laugh) have some perfectionistic ideals. It's TRUE Mandy, sh'up.  However, I rarely have the motivation to meet said ideals so I often end up disappointed in myself. Working with intuitive eating, however, allows me to track progress without setting myself up to miss perfection.  As long as the scale is trending downward, then I'm glad. It's not a race. It doesn't matter if people are doing better than me or worse than me - in fact there is no 'better' or 'worse' there is only different. I need to be able to be supportive of others w/o comparing myself to them. I think I was doing pretty well on that until BFF started enjoying her workouts and then go way ahead of me on Walk It Out.  Bitch can't let me win at anything.

Just now I read on Dr. Fatty's blog something that got me thinking. Here is some of my response to her. It's a good question that you pose, though, and it really got me thinking! I don't have a lot of positive food memories. My mom isn't a good cook (really - who can ruin Kraft Mac & Cheese or mached potatoes?), and mealtimes were always stressful because I was a picky eater and would rather not be around the table with my scary family. Even on the rare occasion that we went to a restaurant I'd be completely stressed out and anxious because if I didn't like what I ordered, i would be in trouble for wasting money.


Now that I've thought that out, it makes sense that I can't handle strict retrictions on my food intake. Discovering how to eat and enjoy food was a great power-up for me as a young adult. Now I need to use that power for good instead of evil! Thanks for making me think that out!

So, it's back to using my powers for good instead of evil. I can stop choosing junkfood and start choosing life. Who's with me?

Ready. Set. GO.

Looks like school today!

My workout will be going to our house in the city and shovelling. Or maybe I'll take the snowblower and try to make that work. I've never used it before, but according to  Sweetie, it's still quite a bit of work. Not a fancy self-propelled doo dad, but something BIL scored at a rummage sale for $5 many years ago that we never tried to work until yesterday. Thing is, I really don't want the dirty, smelly machine in the car we specifically chose because of it's hauling capabilities. 

But, I think there is a neighbor over there that might loan me his better snowblower, so I'm going with that. I'll pay him for the gas, of course. Morevoer, I'll hope he takes pity on me and just does the driveway and I'll shovel the rest.

Later today we have the Global Summit which is an event Kiddo and I are really excited about. With our KIDS FOR PEACE group, we will have a booth showing kids what they can do to help around the world. Other booths will be diverse peoples from our community, and a skype booth set up to where kids can talk to others around the world. What a great opportunity for our little corner of the planet.

Busy Monday

And it's started already!

Sweetie has to be into work at 7 am today - super early for him. Shaving already. I think he might make it! I love that we live so close to work now.

I'm definitely hitting the gym this morning and afterwards I get to go to the medical equipment office and get a different type of CPAP mask. I have high hopes that this one will work. It's been so frustrating trying to get used to the first one.

Then I'm supposed to go do some volunteering - things I would normally do on Wednesday but because of the impending snow dump I'm trying to get them out of the way today.

I'm back to my daily weigh ins. This morning i'm down 2 lbs. For some reason gaining 5 lbs in January seems infinitely more manageable than 7.

I really need to go grocery shopping before school is out as well.  I may be able to put it off until tomorrow, but with the ice and snow predicted tonight . . . well, not optimal. We have plenty of groceries so if I don't get to it, it'll be okay  - I just wanted to try some new recipes this week and need a few things.

So.

So. My head is still not where it needs to be.

I'm feeling a lot of stress.

I'm not eating well.

I finally made myself do at least a little exercise - ended up 8/10 of a mile on Walk It Out. Not very challenging but I feel a bit less like killing someone at the moment.

Aspie index is high these days and it wears on me. It's not easy. Really not easy at all.

Life goes on. I exercised a little bit today. I'm on my own for dinner - broccoli anyone?

Book swap tomorrow after church. Kid and Sweetie are sledding now. I hope they are safe and having fun. I am doing my best not to be a low-flying helicopter parent . . . I'll hover a little higher.  Now off to get my shower at almost 6 pm. Thank goodness for a moment alone. I definitely have needed it after attending to everyone else's problems and feelings this week(s) and then being reminded that other people's problems are worse and that those people actually have family support networks to pitch in. Whatever. Everyone has their own pain. One person's pain doesn't outpain another. We all need support from time to time. Only some of us just do without.

Garaunteed Workout right here.

Thanks to Cary - one of the hottest funniest guys on the blogosphere for sharing this today.  It has changed my life. Turn your sound on.



For more wicked and mostly inappropriate fun, check out Cary's blog at List of the Day

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a workout to do.

Back on the exercise trail!

20 minutes on the eliptical this a.m., upper body weights, and then 15 min on a bike. The best part was being with my girl posse. It was good to see them after a long, long weekend.

Not bad for feeling like the plague is settling in. Pain in eyes, ears, throat. Coughing/chest congestion evident after doing weights. General allover muscle  stiffness. Grumpy and fatigued.

Burger and soda for lunch made me feel taken care of for the moment so i'm not gonna let that high-cal choice bring me down. Healthy, light breakfast this am and lots of water trying to float this cold/virus away. Stopped at the produce market in the city before coming back to the burbs. Loaded up on kiwi, pineapple, bananas, nectarines, and stuff like that. Almost bought some stunning looking strawberries before I realized they were $5 per pound. I wasn't sure we'd be able to make use of everything i was buying, so decided against it. We have frozen berries anyway which I'll have to find some non-smoothie use for, any suggestions?

I think I'll read/take a nap now that my final load of laundry is going.

Blog awards, etc

I've been crazy busy with the new suburban 30 ft sledding hill and basically stuffing my face the last few days. I'm totally outta control here. I'm frustrated by the CPAP but tweaking things and hoping eventually it will work for me. The BiPap sounds like a good possibility, although I'm not sure insurance would cover it - though they cover the CPAP at 100% so maybe! Besides, hubby would spring for it if he thought it would give me energy enough to keep the house clean and orderly. Well, ya know . . .. it's much funner to go sledding.

So FOUR friends have nominated me for blog awards in the last coupla a days. I'll get to it, really I will. Probably not today as it's practically bedtime already. But I'll at least LOOK at them and start thinking about it. Gosh, I'm lazy lazy lazy. Wow. a lazy fat person. What are the odds of that?

Thanks for those awards and also to the people who emailed wondering if I"m okay. I am. Pretty much. Tired, but okay. I love playing in the snow. Too bad I totally busted kiddo's old sled and the new one I bought her won't fit my obese buttocks. So, any suggestions for sleds? I think the foam ones look fast . .. or maybe a nice sturdy saucer.

Whew. I'm tired.

I love snow. Have I mentioned that?

possibly my last day waking up with a headache

Working out at the gym first thing this morning.

Then off to a little workshop on using machines to breathe while I sleep

Then off to Meijer

Hopefully home by noon for lunch with Sweetie. He'll want to check out the new machine, I'm sure

Laundry all afternoon

Pick up "Market Day" after school

Upper back is sore from yesterday's weights.

Looking forward to waking up perky tomorrow

The "X" key has fallen off of my laptop. I have an ex-X key.

Back to the present time.

Yesterday's post was a fun little project from http://www.shrinkingeans.net/ where we were supposed to pretend we were 1 year in the future looking back and writing a letter to our present self. So, that is my wish list of sorts for the coming year. Thanks everybody for you enthusiastic responses.

Today I had great fun hanging out with BFF and doing a little knitting, worked out at the gym 40 minutes on the treadmill and tried some crazy exercise at home too, during Biggest Loser.

At the beginning of the BL premiere, I was smaller than each one of them. That was fun! Didn't last long though. At least it was a 2 hour episode. lol

Now I need to go find my Kindle so I can sleep. Nice, snuggly Kindle. I want to wrap up Lesson 1 in the book "A Course in Weight Loss" as recommended as this month's pick by Juli's Journey. This one is definitely written for Believers, but I think there are a lot of good ideas in here that even a total heathen could wrap up in their own belief system and use towards their success. It's a little difficult to stay objective during some of the churchier stuff, but I'll muddle through. :)

Tomorrow looks like it's going to shape up to be a full day of volunteering, although I've missed my lunches with Sweetie 2 days in a row now so I'm going to try to work that in somehow. I know he probably misses me terribly. :-) Especially since he decided not to join us for the viewing of the Biggest Loser premiere.

Today's Exercise

10 minutes on the eliptical

25 minutes on the treadmill at 3.1 with a 1.0 incline

166 Squats (Week 4, Day 1 of squats - the hardest yet!)

81 Sit-ups  (Week 1, Day 1 of 200 situps challenge.)


YIKES! My heart rate really got up there on the last set of (45) squats. I'm done for the day!

TGIM!

Mondays are my ME day and I haven't had one in a long while now. Sure, there have been days that call themselves Monday, but unless I have the house to myself and have no other responsibilities, they're just fakers.

Today I'll go to the gym. I will sweat and stink, oh yeah baby. I will do weights and crunches, the eliptical and treadmill. Maybe I will jump in on a class if I'm wacky enough. We shall see how it goes. I'll go to my favorite grocery afterwards, then come home and clean the fridge before putting all my fresh new goodies away. And I'll probably nap and/or read while the laundry is getting itself (dream!) caught up.

But now, just now. Kiddo's alarm is going off already. She's not gonna be happy since she was still trying to get to sleep at 11 pm.

Starting the 200 Situps Challenge on Monday. Who's With Me?

Here is the link to the program:

http://www.twohundredsitups.com/

I did my test set today - 25, although I wouldn't call them "good form". I doubt if I managed the 35º angle they suggest, but I did the best I could manage with these fat rolls getting in the way.  We'll see how I feel tomorrow where my abs would be if they existed.

I'm half way through the 200 squats program. Kiddo started the push ups program today. I need to do that one too, but I may wait until I'm halfway through the situps. I don't want to pile on too much at once and then end up getting overwhelmed.

So, here's your official invitation: Join me in the situps program. Let's do it! The time investment is minimul - Less than 10 minutes, 3 days a week.

And it's OVAH!

Christmas has come and gone. Time to take down the Christmas stuff and put out the snowmen.

We had a nice visit with mom, sister, and sis' boyfriend yesterday. Kiddo got shloads more gifts and now we need to find a place for all her loot. Thank goodness hubby and I put an end to our own.  

I felt sad for Sweetie yesterday as we didn't hear from his parents until very late and he didn't get to talk to his brother at all. We called at 9:30 on our way home but alas, it was too late to talk to the kids, too. They are normal kids who were up early with excitement about their loot whereas ours had to be dragged out of bed at 9 am. Today I woke her up at 10. She likes her sleep. She his happy with her holiday loot and visiting.

Tomorrow night is my sleepover at the sleep clinic. Enough of that. Let's not think about it. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.

Other than squats, I've been slackin on exercise lately. Food as well. So much yummy yummy that I push my intuition aside and enjoy. I have undone some of my hard work that way and yet I'm not feeling terribly guilty over it. yet. maybe a smidge. I will not panic over 2 or 3 pounds. Kiddo will be back in school on Jan 3rd and I'll be back to the gym. Until then, she will just have to play Wii with me daily and have fun fun fun doing it. Once I can scrape the remote out of her little sweaty hand.