So.

So. My head is still not where it needs to be.

I'm feeling a lot of stress.

I'm not eating well.

I finally made myself do at least a little exercise - ended up 8/10 of a mile on Walk It Out. Not very challenging but I feel a bit less like killing someone at the moment.

Aspie index is high these days and it wears on me. It's not easy. Really not easy at all.

Life goes on. I exercised a little bit today. I'm on my own for dinner - broccoli anyone?

Book swap tomorrow after church. Kid and Sweetie are sledding now. I hope they are safe and having fun. I am doing my best not to be a low-flying helicopter parent . . . I'll hover a little higher.  Now off to get my shower at almost 6 pm. Thank goodness for a moment alone. I definitely have needed it after attending to everyone else's problems and feelings this week(s) and then being reminded that other people's problems are worse and that those people actually have family support networks to pitch in. Whatever. Everyone has their own pain. One person's pain doesn't outpain another. We all need support from time to time. Only some of us just do without.

Avoidance part 3,321

The real reason I didn't want to go to counselling today? Well, I knew I really should call my insurance company and make sure said counsellor is on our new insurance plan but I hadn't. This counselor is someone we'd seen before as a couple so I didn't really take that into consideration when I made the first appointment. But the office administrator gave me all kinds of grief when I gave her the new insurance card last time because I hadn't called ahead and gotten the pre-cert.

So today an hour before my appointment, I decided I'd stop avoiding the damn phone call and find out if he's covered. I had  a nice little chat with a girl in the dental coverage department first. Duh. Then, finally - the mental health section. According to the insurance CSR, he's not on their plan. So, 40 minutes before the appointment I call to cancel and the office admin AGAIN gives me grief. No wonder I don't like people.

Based on the fact that I'd never see this person again, I felt free to point out to her that the clients she works are experiencing a lot of stress in their lives and it would be appreciated if she could treat them with a tad bit of compassion instead of criticism or treating them as a child. Then I kindly reminded her that she had said after my previous visit that she would call them herself since I couldn't get through the first time. She reminded me that it was MY responsibility and then I reminded HER that she needn't speak to me as if I'm a child and that she doesn't know quite how mentally unhealthy some of the clients there might be so she should take that into consideration before being so rude. I further decided to let her know that even if I did have coverage for that office I wasn't sure I'd be returning anyway because the stress that I'm put through by the office personnel was undoing any good that the counsellor was doing and that I would write the Dr. in charge of the practice to let him know my opinion on the matter.

She then became quite friendly and found a way to bill the insurance so that the coverage would work for me, wasn't that nice?  We rescheduled for Thursday of next week. I bet she thinks I'll forget by then.

There better not be a no-show for today, but if there is, I'll probably just pay it to make it go away. Unless I'm pissy again. Oh, lucky her. Aunt Flo should be arriving just about then.

Dear Mercury;

Oh swift-footed messenger of the gods. Oh ye who wears shoes that are even goofier looking than Shape-Ups. Oh erratic, volatile or unstable wing-ed shoed currier of news! 

When your namesake planet is in the state of what appears to be retrograde, communications are extra difficult for we humans. You appear to move backwards through the zodiac, sending communications, appointments, travel, and mail into general disorder. Wires are crossed, calls are missed, confusion ensues. Frustration follows. And then, the eating . .. oh the eating!

But I resist. I will not fall prey to your whimsical musings. Do not toy with my health and body, you trickster! I WILL continue to exercise daily - to move and burn calories, and consume healthy foods. And soon, you will return to your direct station and just in time for my appointment with Dr. Halle Berry Lookalike. And she will tell me I'm fat. And she will tell me I'm old. And she will tell me I need medication to control my thyroid. And nothing will be confused about that. Damn you, Mercury! Where are you when I need you most?

Oh, Mercury - I also want to add that I don't believe in mythology or astrology. Three times yearly (four as an added bonus this year) you tempt me into it. I'm sure it is purely coincidence that I forgot my wallet yesterday, have had a difficult time thinking of what to blog, forget to purchase things on my grocery list, actually win a contest(!), have to do the same work 3 times for the church, arrive late to my kid's activities, lose emails, forget about book orders, and don't receive the mail I am expecting all in the time of your "retro" station.  I know Retro is always in style when it comes to fashion, Merc, but when it comes to communications, stop effing with my life already will ya?