I'm going to be healthy. This long slow suicide dance I've played with food and sloth has got to end. I have a kid, 8 1/2 years old, who is worth living for and worth the effort to make it work.
I haven't dieted a lot in the past. I was on Richard Simmons' Food Mover Plan circa Y2K or so and did well on it, until I started working for a really awesome food catalog order company and I just wanted to eat what I wanted to eat. I didn't like depriving myself. I felt I "deserved" to eat what I wanted to. A year or so later, I was put on the diabetic diet during my pregnancy. I lost quite a bit on that. I was very strict with myself. I knew from my close relative's experience what it was like to take care of a special needs child and I was determined to do everything "right" during my pregnancy. If something "went wrong" it wasn't going to be for my lack of trying. After my healthy baby girl was born, I could eat whatever I wanted to again.And I did. Now, weighing in at 272 it's time to "stop the insanity" as Susan Powter once preached. I'm on the verge of diabetes, struggle to tie my shoes or pick up things from the floor, lack stamina to play with my kid the way I'd like to, and am tired all.the.time.
I've got all the tools I need. I have a support network. I have space to workout, I am armed with knowledge of nutrition, I've got a pedometer, a swimming pond, a Wii Fit, and a DS Weightloss Coach. I've read Richard Simmons, Susan Powter, and Geneen Roth. I understand that I'm an emotional eater, a permitter, and a binger. I know that as an adult I am responsible for my own choices, including what I put in my mouth and how much I move.
I need to be healthy. To be able play and live, take care of my home, and be productive. I need to get over it, move on, be a grown up, and listen to my body, not the stories my mind is telling me. Ignore the mindtapes, the voice and the inner child, and find me-my-mine. I can do this and one way I'm going to do it is to start a blog here to help myself feel accountable for my choices. I'm going to link to fitblogs and to my brother-in-law who is one of the finest people I know.