Disappointment

Well, today's my quarterly check-in with the Dr. I think we should go back to bi monthly. She's going to be disappointed (as am I) with my lack of progress.

Back up .4 this morning. No big deal, still down from Sunday .. . will do a little better every day until I'm doing great.

Sleep is going well. Now I need to get Kiddo up and ready for school. More later.

Meatless Mondays & This morning's doctor visit

Breakfast was a Sweet N Salty bar, lunch was grilled cheese on potato  bread, snacks consist of pumpkin bread and FRUIT. Dinner will be whole grain pasta with snowpeas and asparagus, parmesan & olive oil. Some herbs & spices tossed in.

Dr. appointment was good today. She continues to be pleased with my progress, not at all concerned with the slowdown - said that's normal for this time of year for many people. She said keep doing what I'm doing. Aside from a multivitamin, she didn't want me to do any additional supplements. She looked at my airway and considers it small, suspects that the root of my ongoing fatigue is sleep apnea. So, Dec 9th I go see a pulmonologist and they will determine if I need a sleep study. Expect a future post on anxiety, sleep, and insanity.

Hot 100 Update: embrace failure

I'm not really embracing it, but besides my outstanding job on fruit  lately, I've not been doing well on my Hot 100 goals. I am so sleepy all the time that I'm usually in bed by 10 pm anyway but if i nap too much during the day I am up reading until midnight. I've been playing  around. Exercising - bah! eating when I'm not hungry, YOU BET!  playing around losing and gaining the same five pounds? Great fun! Bloggin 2x daily? I missed a whole day and nobody noticed so why bother? Chores? whatev.  The good news is I have a Dr. appointment first thing Monday morning and that'll prolly get me going. I HAVE made some progress since I saw her 2 months ago. . . I think. And I'll ask her all about what kinds of supplements she recommends to make sure they don't interact with anything i'm already taking.

Nothing really pushed me into this rut and I'll find my way out soon enough. The only explanation I have is that I was really REALLY close to weighing less than Sweetie. When I can truck along fine for a long while but when I notice I'm close to a goal, and especially if I say it to anybody out loud - then it's like the expectation is there that I will meet it quickly and my inner child or whoever rebels against it. Every time I think I have it figured out, then I just stop caring.  I haven't even been reading blogs much. had a great book to read, though.  I'll have a review for that prolly later.  I haven't even updated my Shelfari yet. I think I need to reread Women Food and God!

And so there ya have it. I'm all "why bother?" right now. Eating for fun, sleeping even more, exercising hardly at all . ..  but I am still weighing in every morning which is the only thing that's kept me within that 5 lb range - I'm sure of it.

Bodies are weird.

I forgot to turn the clock back on my bladder. So I'm up an hour "early."

Remember that 4.4 lbs I lost overnight earlier this week? Exactly 4.4 were gained overnight last night. So strange! Not that I gained, I had it coming due to lack of exercise and water retention. Just strange that it's the exact same number. Anyway, it'll be gone in a few days, but I am probably not going to see my mini-goal before my next Dr. appointment on the 15th.  I can live with that, I've still made a lot of progress.

I've got to drop the exercise challenge and get back to my regular routine. That will help my head get back where it needs to be. Meanwhile, I got to keep finding the joy where I can (in fruit?) and move forward through life taking care of myself the best I can.

Dr. Watkins, I presume

I really like my doctor. She is so kind and supportive that I can almost overlook the annoying fact that she is thin and pretty in a Halle Berry kind of way.  So, when she proclaimed today that I made her day - and possibly her entire week, I was like a little kid who had pleased her mother. (Well, I assume I was, I never experienced that feeling myself - but I see it in my sister all of the time).

According to her records, I've lost 35 lbs in 3 1/2 months. She is extremely pleased with my current approach to health and apparently, so is my body!  My blood pressure was great the first (and only) time they checked it today! Normally, it is pretty high when they first check it, as a result of anxiety, and they take it again as I'm leaving and it's normal. And when she asked, I realized that I did not even take my anti-anxiety meds last night! So anxiety is down, BP is down and the thyroid is in the normal range.

My assignments for the next two months are to (1) keep up with my current eating and activity habits, (2) win at a foot race across our front lawn against my daughter, and (3) lose 20 or more pounds. She had talked about visiting with me again near my birthday in December, but agreed to checking in just before Thanksgiving instead. She seems genuinely happy and excited about this. She thanked me for making her job easier and for not making her come see me in the cardiac ward of the local hospital. So, we have our date Nov 15 and I will try to live down to her expectations. Maybe by then I'll be able to fit into the workout clothes Allan is sending!  Now I need to win a free sports bra or 2 or get a raise in my allowance!

Thanks everyone for your continued support. This 'flip floppin lunatic' loves the lot of ya!  MWAAAH!

Eleven days

Eleven days until I go to the doctor. I was hoping to have more weight loss accomplished by then. I take ownership for my backslide in August, but it's unbelievably hard to recover from it. I hope I remember that next time I decide to be careless with what I put into my body.

The appointment is mainly to check how my thyroid is doing and to berate me for not having a mammogram. Ha! Well, I tricked her! I actually scheduled a mammogram for Tuesday. I'd rather have a candy gram, but there you have it.

I don't think the thyroid meds are doing much. I am still tired more than the average hibernating bear. I'd go back to bed right now except that kiddo's alarm is going off in 20 minutes and I hate waking up.  I don't like to do it more than once every few hours. So if she ups the dosage of thyroid medication maybe it won't be quite as much work for these pounds to melt off. Of course, I want it to be as easy as possible. You don't get this fat without being a tad lazy about things.

I'm going to keep working and see what I can accomplish in these next 11 days. Keep in mind that we have a birthday in there for kiddo at the ball park. Nothing like baseball stadium food to keep one on track, right? Including Toft's ice cream. Yum! And she has opted for cheesecake instead of birthday cake. I think she may be trying to kill me. She's like Stewie on Family Guy, only taller and prettier!