Hot 100 Update: embrace failure

I'm not really embracing it, but besides my outstanding job on fruit  lately, I've not been doing well on my Hot 100 goals. I am so sleepy all the time that I'm usually in bed by 10 pm anyway but if i nap too much during the day I am up reading until midnight. I've been playing  around. Exercising - bah! eating when I'm not hungry, YOU BET!  playing around losing and gaining the same five pounds? Great fun! Bloggin 2x daily? I missed a whole day and nobody noticed so why bother? Chores? whatev.  The good news is I have a Dr. appointment first thing Monday morning and that'll prolly get me going. I HAVE made some progress since I saw her 2 months ago. . . I think. And I'll ask her all about what kinds of supplements she recommends to make sure they don't interact with anything i'm already taking.

Nothing really pushed me into this rut and I'll find my way out soon enough. The only explanation I have is that I was really REALLY close to weighing less than Sweetie. When I can truck along fine for a long while but when I notice I'm close to a goal, and especially if I say it to anybody out loud - then it's like the expectation is there that I will meet it quickly and my inner child or whoever rebels against it. Every time I think I have it figured out, then I just stop caring.  I haven't even been reading blogs much. had a great book to read, though.  I'll have a review for that prolly later.  I haven't even updated my Shelfari yet. I think I need to reread Women Food and God!

And so there ya have it. I'm all "why bother?" right now. Eating for fun, sleeping even more, exercising hardly at all . ..  but I am still weighing in every morning which is the only thing that's kept me within that 5 lb range - I'm sure of it.

Board board board board board!

I was reading about self-soothing techniques yesterday  (see Shelfari on sidebar) and learned that many people say they eat out of boredom. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. One of my many intolerances is for people who are or become "bored."  I'd like to take a Cricket board to them much like Vyvyan does in the above clip. Bored is not an emotion, it is a state of mind. Look around us, how could anybody be bored, ever? People, be honest with yourself and figure out what you're really feeling! Bored is usually any easy word - an excuse even - masking other feelings.

Most people when they say they are "bored" really mean that they are experiencing some type of unbearable disatisfaction. Usually, there is something they'd rather do but they feel limited by some circumstance and therefore unable to do what they want. That involves some sadness, some frustration, and maybe some anger. Once you recognize the details of what you are feeling, you can deal with them, instead of just whining around that you're "bored" or stuffing your face for entertainment purposes.

Is this post boring? Really? Are you bored? Are you disappointed that I'm taking your word "bored" away from you? That's a bad word in our house. Find a better word. It's like saying somebody is "nice" when you mean they are friendly and welcoming, warm or funny. Be more specific! Ugh. Hand me that cricket bat, Vyv. Stop making excuses. Think about why you're letting yourself get frustrated and solve the problem. There is no "bored." There is only "not trying hard enough".

Too much to sort out

I've got a lot bouncing around in my head right now. Good things, things I'm excited about. Epiphanies, new discoveries, goals, the future (both long term and short) and lots of stuff to think about.

So, just took my Paxil and I expect that I'll calm down soon, but for now there's too much going on in my head to write a coherent blog entry for the day.

I hope my enthusiasm stays with me tomorrow. I didn't get any official exercise today but I feel good. My husband might say this is some kind of bipolar upswing, but since I've never been diagnosed with bipolar, I just blow it off when he says things like that.

I may have issues, but he's got the whole subscription and as long as we're in it together, it'll all be good.