12 November 2010

Hot 100 Update: embrace failure

I'm not really embracing it, but besides my outstanding job on fruit  lately, I've not been doing well on my Hot 100 goals. I am so sleepy all the time that I'm usually in bed by 10 pm anyway but if i nap too much during the day I am up reading until midnight. I've been playing  around. Exercising - bah! eating when I'm not hungry, YOU BET!  playing around losing and gaining the same five pounds? Great fun! Bloggin 2x daily? I missed a whole day and nobody noticed so why bother? Chores? whatev.  The good news is I have a Dr. appointment first thing Monday morning and that'll prolly get me going. I HAVE made some progress since I saw her 2 months ago. . . I think. And I'll ask her all about what kinds of supplements she recommends to make sure they don't interact with anything i'm already taking.

Nothing really pushed me into this rut and I'll find my way out soon enough. The only explanation I have is that I was really REALLY close to weighing less than Sweetie. When I can truck along fine for a long while but when I notice I'm close to a goal, and especially if I say it to anybody out loud - then it's like the expectation is there that I will meet it quickly and my inner child or whoever rebels against it. Every time I think I have it figured out, then I just stop caring.  I haven't even been reading blogs much. had a great book to read, though.  I'll have a review for that prolly later.  I haven't even updated my Shelfari yet. I think I need to reread Women Food and God!

And so there ya have it. I'm all "why bother?" right now. Eating for fun, sleeping even more, exercising hardly at all . ..  but I am still weighing in every morning which is the only thing that's kept me within that 5 lb range - I'm sure of it.

8 comments:

  1. I do the same thing when about to reach a goal. You tell yourself you can't do it, and wham bam thank ya ma'am you never reach it. I hope you get back on track. I know you can do it!!!

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  2. I was gonna tell you, but then I heard your aunt was at your house, and she isn't always real nice.

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  3. LP, there is something to be said for maintaining, but I know that isn't what you want, at least not long term. Re: blogging twice a day - whew! That would be hard for me! :-) I am not sure anyone notices when I don't post either. Keep your chin up, and make this a great week!

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  4. Lanie, I am also having a bit of a struggle. I think it happens to all of us, at one time or another. I am not giving up and don't you give up, either. You have a good handle on this, girl. Don't let it go, now.

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  5. I have struggled a lot in the past months and wonder why I do this again and again. Sigh. Maybe this is a good time for both of us to think about all the things we want out of this journey, everything we stand to gain, all the great reasons to be healthy and lose weight. Let's find our motivation:)

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  6. Lanie, it WILL improve again, trust me. You WILL get out of the 'why bother' phase and get all stoked again.

    I also have an inner child who rebels when goals are very strict, or simply spelled out too clearly. I often find I work best when I approach it sideways, with stealth, almost-not-noticing it!

    (Oh, and Steve, of course we notice when you don't post! But we're certainly all allowed some off days! =)

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  7. You definitely will get back on track. It sounds as though your body might be just re-adjusting itself for the winter? I know that I go from having all kinds of energy to not wanting to get out of the bed for 2 or 3 weeks after the time changes. When it's happening, I just think I'm lazy, but then I see the times it happens and it's like, 'duh'! That's why! Hang in there. You'll get your mojo back (and you WOULD be noticed if you didn't post, so there!!)

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  8. pace yourself girl. grace and self-forgiveness. you got this thing. smooches!

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