Pain

Sometimes when we are so engulfed in and overwhelmed by our own pain, it's really hard to keep things in perspective.

This is one lesson I've gleaned from my reading of The Shack already. It's sort of like looking past your pain to find your joy. Earlier I gave advice to another blogger that when she is so far down so lonely and desperate that one thing to do is to focus on service to others. Not your immediate family, but people that you don't have connections to like the sick or the homeless. There are so m any needy people and critters that need help. Volunteering is one way I get "out of my own way" and "look  past the pain" on my down days when I'm really just ready for a big wallow in the puddle-muck of self  pity.

It'd be funny to say "pain" is my middle name, given my blogger id, but it's more that I"m a pain in the ass than my sould being "a little black spot on the sun today". I've consciously worked hard all my life to get around the pain of my childhood. The grief for the little girl that I was can be overwhelming for sure. It can make me lose my perspective, and lose my power. I have my days, but mostly they are good.

Look past the pain, find your joy. It's not always easy, but it is doable.

Bodies are weird.

I forgot to turn the clock back on my bladder. So I'm up an hour "early."

Remember that 4.4 lbs I lost overnight earlier this week? Exactly 4.4 were gained overnight last night. So strange! Not that I gained, I had it coming due to lack of exercise and water retention. Just strange that it's the exact same number. Anyway, it'll be gone in a few days, but I am probably not going to see my mini-goal before my next Dr. appointment on the 15th.  I can live with that, I've still made a lot of progress.

I've got to drop the exercise challenge and get back to my regular routine. That will help my head get back where it needs to be. Meanwhile, I got to keep finding the joy where I can (in fruit?) and move forward through life taking care of myself the best I can.

Choose Joy

They happen to everyone. Why should I (or anyone else) be an exception to that rule? Sometimes life really sucks. It sucks bad. Babies die, kids are molested, people are raped, beaten, tortured. There are natural disasters, marriages dissolve, cancer eats away at flesh and bone, mental illness twists our minds, eating disorders, panic disorders, sexual disorders - you name it, bad stuff happens. To everyone. EVERYONE.
It's an inescapable fact of life.

But good stuff happens too. And if I'm too busy wallowing in the bad stuff, I'm gonna miss it. If I stuff down those bad experiences away with crappy food, I"m not going to be in any shape to enjoy the good stuff. Being a healthy size won't make my life perfect, but it will help me take advantage of the little glimpses of perfection I am shown. And they are EVERYWHERE. A little child smiling and greeting a new friend, an older child appreciating the cuteness of a baby, old friends finding happiness in themselves after many years, sisters who were born to other parents standing by you when things aren't perfect. Laughter, family game night, fun restaurants, Ohio sunsets, bloggy friends who "get it" and jamming to the newest Taylor Swift CD in your tween kid.

There's good and bad all around us. It's our choice what to focus on. If we focus on the negative and are needy and clingy and sponges that suck the life out of others . . . we will end up old and alone for sure. However, if you can find the JOY in life every day - even if it's something really small like hearing birdsong - if you can find that happiness, and share it and wear it on your smile . . . that's when you'll finally feel a little more successful, a little less hopeless. And when that happiness starts oozing out of you, people will be drawn to you like you wouldn't believe.

Now, I have to go stuff down some joy so nobody bothers me for a while, but I wanted to dribble a little out there today because know what? This time of year is really rough!

Don't forget to change your clocks!