17 January 2011


One of my favorite parts of Martin Luther King Jr's famous "I have a dream" speech is the part that talks about wanting his children and grandchildren to be judged by the "content of their character" instead of the color of their skin. This MLK day, I've been thinking about content of character quite a bit. How do I build that in my kid, how do I show it in myself, and what are my expectations of it in others . . . these are the things on which I've been ruminating recently.

Judgment is  a difficult habit for me to let go of. I especially tend to judge judgers. I don't like to feel judged, but I realize that everybody is judging all of the time. Judgement is the job of god - big G or little, you decide. Plural, even, if you like. The most challenging work I've been doing is to let go of judgment. I can't quite figure out how I can hold myself and/or other up to high expectations and deal with those expectations not always being met without judgment coming into play.

Right now, I am judging m myself harshly for my recent eating habits, but not as harshly as I am judging the people who are judging OTHERS for not meeting their own expectations of health. So I sit here and ponder and get caught up in the drama of other people behaving idiotically instead of forgiving myself and doing better. After all, I'm the only person I can control, right?

People who do not practice general kindness are not worth my time. Is that a judgment? Or is it my right to decide that and follow through with it by movin on without them?  Dammit, this is hard. Judgment is so damn useful and addictive!

Ok, those are the thoughts rambling around in my head today . . .

This morning we did a Kids For Peace service project at the local botanical garden. We sowed seeds for veggies that will eventually be given to community gardens to feed the poor. Feels good to get soil all over me and do some good. Today is supposed to be a national day of service. I'm proud to say I (and my kid) participated in that.


  1. Love the Kids for Peace Lanie, very cool ♥

    it is tough one, and so easy to fall into
    all I can tell you is what I have learnt,
    ....I can only see a judger when I am judging....
    but HUGE!!!!
    It is usually my own insecurities that are making me "feel" judged and it is my own judging ways that cause me to judge others behaviors on what it is I see...even though I am only seeing what I am seeing, there could be so much more going on that I can not see.
    And sometimes I AM being straight up judged! But if I know my truth, and I stand firm in that truth, no matter what judgment comes my way, my truth remains the same. Truth is infinite and can not be changed. I take comfort in that.
    It takes time to unlearn habits...all of them! ; )

    love and light

    be kind to you!

  2. Hmmm...interesting thoughts. I kind of feel like if I judge other then I am wasting energy that could be put into my own journey, because I know that the journey to lose weight is a constellation of moons aligning-moons that we alone have to keep aligned. So when I judge Oprah for being unhealthy even with the money to hire others to FORCE her to be healthy, that is my fault. After all, they cannot follow her into the bathroom to keep her from stuffing the twinkie or fried butter (yes that image haunts me) into her mouth. If I ask for guidance, that is one thing, but other unsolicited judgment is just going to fall on deaf ears unless I am open to and want to hear it.

    Polar's Mom

  3. Love ya, Lanie...move on. It's peaceful :)

  4. You have 437,478,547 reasons to get on with being who you want to be. Give or take 2 or 3. Pick ONE, just 1, and see it all day long. Make it part of every eating decision; part of every self-debate on whether or not to exercise. You just need a day or two of solid performance & results to reignite your fire for doing what you know to be right. So what is your one reason?

  5. Thanks Darla.

    Hmmm. . pick one? To feel worthy of Patrick's friendship. That oughta do it. Back to the gym tomorrow!

  6. I just wanted to tell you thank you Lanie. I think you were on to something about the Red40. I've been checking inot it and I think it's either that or the artificial sweetner from the gallon of Cranberry Apple Crystal Light I was drinking a day that is causing the Anxiety attacks. I really hope cutting those things out is going to make this crap go away. Thank you sooooo much!

  7. Hey There:

    One of the very reasons I stopped blogging about my weight loss journey and blog about random things is because I think the weightloss blog forum has some of the most judgmental people I have ever not met :-)

    Keep up the great progress. Baby steps. I'll swing by every now and then.


  8. Forgive your dear self -deeply and truly!

  9. A very thoughtful, honest post.
    Maybe if we think of it as two things...One, you are right, it's not our job to be the Judge, and judge others.

    Two, it IS our job to use Discernment, to evaluate with discernment what "stuff" we allow into our head. I'm just not going to let any ol' influence rent space inside my head! So really, I think you are on the right track there.

    And it IS so much more peaceful letting go of those kinds of negative influences.

    I was so sorry to read that Brett had that kind of negative experience with wt loss bloggers. I've run into it, too, of course. But there are so many wonderful and supportive NON-judgmental people I've met, too. Far outweighs the occasional jerk, LOL!

    Good post, very thought-provoking.


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