26 August 2010

First day of school

Yesterday was the first day of fourth grade for my daughter at her new school. It's a tough age group. Kids are mean and my daughter has inherited a bit of my social anxiety. This morning, the 2nd day, she had a hard time getting out of bed and getting ready. When we were walking to the bus stop, she started crying. She misses her old school. She misses her friends. There's a mean girl at the new school and she is her locker partner. She's too tired to go to school. She got on the bus with tears still streaming down her face.

I have to choose my reaction carefully. Mama bear wanted to come out and eviscerate papa bear for making this problem even exist. Mama bear's teeth needed sharpenedd  . . .but, that wouldn't solve anything. Instead, I emailed the teacher to make her aware of the high emotional state and the nervousness about the locker partner. I asked the teacher to help kiddo find the other girl scouts in her class and find connections to other kids.

I wanted to take a nap and escape from the world for an hour or two. Luckily, my girlfriends keep calling me ensuring that won't happen. They tell me things will be ok, the world is full of jerks, and kiddo will become a stronger person for learning how to deal with them.

For a minute, I wanted to eat. Maybe only a half minute. I went and exercised instead. I'm going to go to that some more now so that I can be my calmest (sweatiest, stinkiest) mommy when she comes home. I fully expect that today was better than yesterday. It is, afterall, art day!


  1. Hope all gets better for your daughter at school soon. Odd thing about that age, kids can be enemies one day and allies the next.

  2. Although my heart weeps for your daughter, you have done the right thing by putting her on the bus and emailing the teacher. It is hard, and it is great that this did not trigger overeatimg, but your girl is now facing her fears. That is very important. Let her know the fears you have faced in life and how you tackled them. Oh, parenting is hard we want douch to protect them, but they need to develop the tools to navigate without us, eventually. Stay strong. Michele

  3. The little brats (lol). I hope everything goes well for your daughter too - and I'm sure it will. I just cannot tolerate mean people (kids included). My daughter is 27 now, but when she was growing up I instilled in her to never be mean to anyone. I said, if you don't like someone you don't necessarily have to hang around them, but always be nice and say hello.

    Way not to eat, Mamma Bear.

  4. Hope all goes well. That is so hard! :( You're a great Mamma..she's lucky to have you!

    I remember those days..tough age!

  5. This post reminded me of a quote: "Where there is life, there be dickheads".
    Unfortunately, horrible people are everywhere. You just need to find a way of dealing with them individually...

  6. Somebody once said that having children was like having your heart walk around outside your body. They were dead on! As parents, we want to fix absolutely everything for them. When they were little, we could. As they grow, it becomes more and more difficult and even counterproductive. You are wise to start letting her find her own solutions now (with a little background help from mom, of course). Unfortunately, I can tell you that my experience is that the meanness of kids starts to rear its ugly head at about fourth grade and continues to worsen through 8th grade (middle school/junior high seems to be the worst). It worked that way for both my daughter and son. By the time they reach high school, however, a lot of that kind of behavior stops (or at least gets carried on behind the kids' backs instead of to their faces--LOL). Anyway, hang in there and congratulations for handling a stressful situation with grace.

  7. My heart breaks when I see my children sad from hurt feelings. As parents we remember those feelings, those times. But, it is all part of life isn't it? Developing thick skin, knowing how to react to people and situations. Give extra hugs.


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