30 November 2010

Addicted to praise?

Flipping through channels this afternoon, I heard somebody talking about "Are you addicted to Praise?" but I didn't tune into it, even though I immediately thought "that is so me."

I was thinking - is that why I blog? Is that why I always feel the need to be validated? Is that why I've always needed a wide variety of friends to help and support me? Is that jerk who thinks I'm just an attention-getter right?  I had myself all worked up about it, seriously. I think my anxiety meds were wearing off early or something!

But then tonight I decided to search for it on Yahoo and found out it was on Oprah which explains why I didn't watch it. I like Oprah ok, but I was on my way to watch Ellen which I adore. Oprah can't compete with that.  Anyhow, Oprah.com had a quiz to take to determine whether or not I was, in fact, addicted to praise.  They also had an article about the three signs:

1. Infinite Praise Tolerance
I like validation as much as anybody, but I have my limit. If somebody IRL gushes about something I've done, I become very uncomfortable and start to feel that they are being lesss than geniune. For you online folks, though, keep piling it on. I'm good with that! *wink*

2. Flattering sidekick
Oh, that's funny.  If my BFF or my daughter or even my husband compliments me, I know that it is genuine. Flattery is not part of he personality of the people closest to me. Kiddo will say "You're making progress, Mom, but you're still really fat."  I think she gets that from her Auntie Mandy. 

3. Extreme Praise Avoidance
I can take a compliment (I can! Try me!). I will avoid public display because of my anxiety but I have actually been complimented on my ability to take a compliment. One day in the buffet line at church (that's right, you wanna make something of it?) My friend Tiffany said "Melanie! You look GREAT!" and my response was "Thanks! I FEEL great!" and after we sat down to eat, two people I didn't know came  and told me that not only had they noticed that I'd been losing weight, but they were really impressed about how I handled taking a compliment.

If you're interested, you can take Martha Beck's quiz here

Oh, and if you're curious about my results, here's what it said:

Congratulations, you’re normal! Sure, praise feels good to you, but you aren't obsessed with it to the point of dysfunction. You're more interested in what you're doing than in how you look doing it; you give to others because you're thinking about them, not about how you look to them. Normal is good.

Well, maybe I can say that I'm normal in this one paticular way, at least.


  1. I got the same result as you did. :)

  2. I got the same result too, and that was really interesting to think about!

    One of the interesting things I learned in a recent school counseling class was the differences between praise and encouragement, and it was really interesting to me. If it's something you're interested in (if only out of idle curiosity), you can check out a comparison at: http://virtual.mjc.edu/prussol/Praisevs.pdf

  3. My results were in the normal realm. It's kind of funny though... I always thought of myself as a praise whore.



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