05 September 2010

Survival + a Fit Point

Yes! I survived the kiddo's birthday party and will probably even survive the long weekend.

I'm finding it  hard to jive into a new routine with it being too cold to swim and school weeks not yet being standard. I'm moving, I'm eating, making choices that are mine whether or not they would be approved.

This week's topic:  Negativity and a lack of support can be the most crippling obstacle in any goal, especially when it comes to fitness and health. This week, FitPoint wants to know about some of the negativity you have faced as a result of your goals (and results) and how you deal those situations. What gets you through the storm clouds?

I was going to ignore this week's Fit Point because it seemed to difficult of a subject for me. I was afraid that once I started, I wouldn't be able to stop. I am faced with negativity on a daily basis that most people would never tolerate, but that is an extremely private matter, and a personal choice that most people may not make.  That said, there is an example today from the blogosphere that I can share.

Today a total stranger implies that I'm a lunatic because I am not one-sided. I refuse to live an "all or nothing" life. In the past, he has ridiculed my philosophy of weight loss and healthy living, along with that of many others. I often agree with some of his points, but not necessarily his delivery. I will stick up for him (and anyone) when I believe they are right and I will criticize him (or anyone) when I feel they've done wrong.

I like to believe that this today's comment was said in fun. I try to remember that, but I'm human and obviously sensitive. When I commented on that post and the blogger chose not to publish my self-effacing comment, I began to realize maybe it was not so much to be funny, but an actual opinion of me.  Again, this may all be in my imagination due to my anxiety disorder or it may be quite a valid sensitivity. It is quite possible that I have, as Merriam-Webster's describes it, intermittent insanity based on the cycles of the moon. My doctor calls it PMS, not lunacy, though. I'm pretty sure anxious and hormonal does not equal crazy. I suppose it can appear that way to some.

So anyway . . . how do I deal with it?
First, a little background:  I freely admit that I have anxiety issues, and there are few people with whom I choose to share my whole story. My deepest emotional struggles are not the worry of the blogosphere,  nor the business, nor  the problem. I realize that we each have our own baggage and I respect that. I believe in the inherent worth of every human life. I believe people should be treated with respect and dignity. I'm imperfect, but I try to live up to my own expectations, not anybody else's. I'm criticized sometimes for seeing varying points of view, for defending myself or others. But, I will not give undue loyalty where it is not deserved. My closest friends know that I will always be honest with them and  tell them what they need to know. If I believe they are wrong, I will stand beside them and allow them that privilege, but I won't lie and say that I'm on their side or agree with them when I don't.

I expect to be treated with that same dignity by each of my friends. Those expectations are not always met, and instead of turning bitter and insulting them, I keep in mind that they are human and have their own schism, their own framework of life from which they are viewing things. Yes, they may attack me and treat me negatively. I may be hurt, disappointed, or angry. But, in the end, I choose my reaction even if it is no reaction whatsoever. At the same time, for the most part, I give the person the benefit of the doubt, bolster up my compassion and continue to live my life. Their opinion is not my problem and I cannot, or will not attempt to, alter their opinion by being somebody other than myself.

I have come a long way and I continue to grow and strive to be a person that my daughter can remain proud of daily.  I'm imperfect, I realize this. I am a work in progress.

The Fit Point of the Week is similar to Wordless Wednesday, New Friend Friday, etc. We supply a topic, and you write about it! Pretty easy eh? And it’s a free topic you didn’t have to think up! Of course, come back every week for a new topic too!

The Rules

•Write a Post related to the topic. It doesn’t have to be exactly on point but it does have to be relevant.

•Link the person you discovered it from. (optional)

•Use the Banner, linking back to Fit Blogs, and share the rules on your blog.

•List yourself here!

•Comment on the person before you in the list!

The point?

It opens up a little creativity, and it’s free networking! Get some new visitors, new followers, or subscribers!

Link Back to: Http://fitblogs.info


  1. Again, you are a much better person than I! I prefer to live in a dream world and say that the problem is them and not me. :D Many people do not understand how you and I can be best friends when we disagree on so many things, but I know it is because of our differences that make our friendship so much fun. We agree on the basics, everybody deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.

    Anywho...I LOVE YOU!

  2. Lanie, I love your post. I say, Drop the Doofus.

  3. Lighten up... I meant it tongue and cheek..I could care less whether you agree with me... I give up, look, Just me called me a Doofus, and I could care less...

  4. I've come to realize that in the blog world it's tough to sometimes "read between the lines", to know what was meant in someone elses words. I think you wrote a great post here and I agree that we all deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.

    As for our own plan, it is just that with no approval needed but our own.

    As for anxiety, I can identify, I really believe it is what kept me morbidly obese for most of my life. I also think not being able to speak my mind to people was something else that caused me great anxiety. It sounds like you are conquering lots of issues for yourself so you should give yourself a big pat on the back. Hope the rest of your holiday is a good one.

  5. Awe... I love the little banter you and Allan have going. It makes me smile. Don't be bummed. He just picks on you because he likes you. One of the reasons he likes you is because he flamed you a little a few weeks back and you stood up. Keep going girl!

  6. Lanie, I deal with anxiety too, which often looks like depression and can wake me in the middle of the night. I also suffer from over-analyzing things (not saying you do). But, if someone called me a Lunatic that I usually have casual banter with, I would laugh...and let it roll. It is really hard to tell body language and tones through blogs, but I think you know him good enough to know, he has a wicked sense of humour and would most likely be calling you a Lunatic in the most endearing way.
    Congrats on surviving the birthday! And losing the 1.7 pounds!

  7. Don't miss the part where I said I was pretty sure it was said in fun . . . but then my anxiety tried to take over. So the negativity was from my anxiety, and I realized that it probably was and that's why I choose to deal wit it respectfully instead of with animosity.

  8. I guess I did misunderstand about your anxiety. Take care and have a good day.

  9. Lanie, I didn't know who you were talking about it your post...but now, I understand completely.

  10. I love the part where you talk about choosing your reaction. I agree with that wholeheartedly. I've also dealt with anxiety issues and still do from time-to-time and it's a challenge but there just came a point for me where I just stopped worrying about what other people thought of me and realized that the only opinion of me that matters, is my own. :)

  11. And congratulations on your 31 pound weight loss - that is a huge milestone!

  12. We can be our harshest critics, especially when someone gives us even the slightest reason to doubt our success or suspect we've done something wrong. You deserve the respect you expect!

    Proud of you for your weight loss milestone! Keep it up!

  13. I admit, I was behind on my blogs in Google Reader...but I'm getting caught up now.

    And just so you know? When the whole roast came on a few weeks ago? That's when I dropped his blog. I just couldn't take the negativity. I don't allow it in other forms of my life, so I'm not going to read about it either.

    You are phenomenal. And while I think he has EVERY right to defend what he thinks, the way in which he does it would really bother me if it was directed at me. Not because I haven't handled worse things in my life, but because the desire to take other people down JUST to take them down doesn't make sense to me.

    You are wonderful, fantastic, beautiful and lovely. No words or criticisms can take that away. And you're stronger than I ever could be about this.

    I'm proud of you.


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