29 September 2010

I can't believe I've done this to myself

"I can't believe I did this to myself" Brendan said on last night's Biggest Loser.

I have been saying that to myself over and over again. I've ruined my thyroid, my pancreas, my figure, my relationships, my future. And for what? Some bacon and alfredo sauce? WHAT? WTF?

And that is what motivates me to keep moving, keep working, keep weighing in, keep eating sensibly, taking in fewer calories, burning more calories, making good choices. Blogging my brains out. Reading reading READING to fill my head with information - sorting out the BS from what's valuable. Using the good stuff, pushing away the insanity. I am the only one responsible for taking care of this body and I intend to do a good job of it - not by punishing it with deprivation or extreme pain, but be doing what I've known all along I needed to do: Burn more calories than I consume.

Bob told Brendan, it's time to forgive yourelf for the damage that has already been done, and get to work on fixing things. Forgiveness, as previously discussed, is not my strong point, but I think I better work on it. Being angry at myself isn't going to burn fat. Working is!

14 comments:

  1. Lanie,
    That determination to do what is right fro your body will result in your success on this journey. We all have those moments of truth and, you, like me, wonder what took us so long? Stay strong and determined, my blogger friend, Michele

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  2. I do the same thing. Why the hell... How the hell... WHY THE HELL did I do this to myself? Actually, I know, now. And I am well on the road to making it right with myself and fixing it.

    Amazing what a little clarity can do for you. :D

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  3. Amen!! Changes can be made, I still have so much more to go...sigh.

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  4. Thanks for the post - I had tears in my eyes when I say that, I can so relate with Brendan. I also believe what Bob says - we have to able to forgive ourselves in order to succeed.

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  5. You might have ruined your thyroid and pancreas, but your figure can be improved and relationships mended. But one thing I disagree with you on is this: You have NOT ruined your future! Your future is out there like a ripe piece of fruit, just waiting for you to grab it and take a big juicy bite! Forgive the past - you can't go back in time. Make right now count!

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  6. I agree 100% with Charlotte! Forget the past, the future can be ANYTHING you make it!

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  7. I liked Biggest Loser last night, not sure if I like all the contestants yet though...but all the COMMERCIALS. Ugh.

    Polar's Mom
    www.polarspage.blogspot.com

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  8. I watch it online the next day, and you can watch one big commercial in the beginning (or let it run while you switch laundry)

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  9. I love, love, love The Biggest Loser, JUST for moments like these. It changes the lives of the people on the show and watching them change their lives makes me want to do the same.

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  10. I Love Biggest Loser. I cry every time. Bob really nailed it last night about forgiving yourself. I don't think I have done that completely yet. Thanks for your post.

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  11. I often get sad when I think how I never will be what I once was because I've done so much permanent damage to my body, but at this point I try to think beyond that and focus on just getting to "normal", and the best me I can be now.

    Diane

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  12. Looks like your on the right track...Consisatancy.

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  13. Last week was the first time I watched Biggest Loser and now I am hooked. I figure it is a great thing to do as a family to try to help with motivation.
    There might be things that you have ruined, but everyday is a new opportunity to change your life. Actually, every moment of everyday gives you that opportunity. You can't change the past but you can live in the now and change the future!!

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  14. I really like your approach to getting healthy. I'm with you on the Hot 100 challenge and I feel so energized by it and by everyone.
    I skipped biggest loser this time, but I can totally relate to the story you tell from it.
    It helps to keep our eyes on the prize and keep moving forward, for sure.

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