"The more polaraized you become in your thinking, the more extreme your reaction may be." ~Susan Albers
All-or-nothing thinking has long been a pet peeve of mine, although I've been guilty of it myself. It was my then-boyfriend that pointed out to me that when I say that somebody "always" does something, that's a lie because I don't know what other people ALWAYS do, because I'm not ALWAYS with them. I can't say "I'd never do that" because in a different situation, it might just be the best option there is.
A friend of mine has about 8 lbs to lose. She doesn't let herself get heavy, she's trying to be more fit, and attempting to be the best version of herself she can be. I applaud that and wish I would've thought of it when I was 8 lbs overweight. The other day, however, she had a bad weigh-in. She was up a pound or so instead of down, despite her hard work. How frustrating! In walked the skunk. Black or white, no shades of gray at all. Since she had failed to lose weight so far, she was never going to get the results she wanted. The only thing to do was reach for the leftover nachos. She didn't want to hear about hormonal weight, or muscle mass weighing more than fat mass, or anything else. She wanted to eat. The day was ruined and she was going to have an eating day. No suggestions of stopping at an eating morning. She was mad and done for the day.
I realize through her that this is one of the things I need to avoid. If I have a fatty snack, that doesn't mean I have to eat crap all day. I can turn it around RIGHT NOW and do better going forward. How can I give this advice to somebody else and not even heed it myself? And it's not just eating and moving - it's day-to-day living. I'm going to try living "in the middle" more, not expect perfection. In so doing, I will eliminate some of the frustration that pushes my emotional buttons. I don't ALWAYS sabotage myself, I didn't FAIL by getting fat, I haven't RUINED my body. I gotta change the mindset of having screwed up and focus more on the progress and the good things and affirming my worth and dignity, my effort and persistence.
Using polarizing words not only makes me sound like a big fat whiny loser, it keeps me in that mentality. Gotta change that thinking so I can change my world!